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He nods and then moves to walk away, making my heart sink, but before it can crash and burn, he’s back in front of me, his body pressed against mine, his forehead resting on my temple. I can hear his stuttered breaths escaping his mouth as he holds me.
“God, I want you,” he breathes.
My hands tremble slightly as they grab on to his waist and hold him against me. The vertigo has stopped and for a moment, I’m completely centered.
Alec. He is my center.
“Can I have you?” he asks softly as his lips brush against my temple. I feel that kiss all the way through my body, settling in my balls and my heart simultaneously. An orgasmic heart attack.
“Yeah,” I say as I reach back and open my door, and we stumble through, our lips crushed together as we fall onto the bed. He’s on top of me, his kisses almost frantic as he strips me out of my shirt. I hear a rip, and I gasp when his lips land against my throat and he sucks on my Adam’s apple.
His dick is rock-hard against my own and my legs wrap around his back as he ruts up against me. I could come just like this.
“Yes,” I moan as he slips two fingers into my mouth. I suck on them, making him groan in earnest as he trails his lips down my chest and across my left nipple.
I gasp when he bites down on it and then licks it better.
“Fuck, I’ve been going crazy the last few days,” he says. “Why are you so intoxicating?”
I arch up into him as I continue to suck on his fingers. I should be more upset, angry even, for him leaving me in the lurch for days, but how can I be mad when my cock is so happy? That’s a question for the gods. I’m such a slut for him, it’s ridiculous.
He hovers over me, slipping his fingers from my mouth, and continues to rock against me, driving me crazy. Our gazes meet once more, and I stare into those depths, trying to make sense of him, all while trying to stave off an orgasm.
“Why have you avoided me the past few days when you want me just as much as I want you?” I manage to ask, breathless and panting, but still the words are audible.
“God, I don’t…” He stops moving and closes his eyes. His nostrils flare and then he’s off me, rolling onto his side and sitting up. I scramble up as well, trying like hell to ride this emotional rollercoaster without my stomach turning.
“I do want you, I just…like I said, I’ve been dealing with some shit. I should…fuck, I should go.”
He stands to leave, but I’m on him, my hands wrapping around his waist, my face pressed into his back.
“Do you have to? You could stay and we could just watch a movie or something, just kiss…”
His whole body trembles. “If I stay, I’ll kiss you and if I kiss you, I’ll fuck you. You’re that irresistible.”
“What’s so wrong with fucking me?” I ask, my voice breaking.
He peels my hands off of him and turns around, his brows drawn together, his lips pulled tight. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s me…fuck.”
“Tell me, what’s wrong?” I demand, feeling slightly panicked, but he doesn’t divulge it.
“I…I should go. I’ll pick you up at five.”
And then he’s gone.
“This is really good,” I say with a forced smile on my face, staring at Helen and George. Alec is seated across from me at their dining table, his demeanor drawn and quiet. He hasn’t spoken more than a word to me since picking me up, and it’s left me confused, reeling, like I’m floating adrift.
Just my luck to meet a guy I like—a guy who made me finally admit to myself I’m gay and not just a dick hobbyist—and now have him come to the realization that he doesn’t want to fuck me. He doesn’t want me or my ass. That’s what I get from all of this.
I’m just not good enough.
But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. I never was. Not really.
“Thank you, dear. I’m so glad you could make it,” Helen says with a bright smile. She doesn’t get the vibe rolling off Alec and me, but I sure can. It’s palpable.
“Me too. I was happy Alec extended the invite.”
Alec grumbles something, but I ignore him.
