AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh fuck,” I breathe, and Helen’s fork clinks against the plate.
“What is it? Was it his hat phase? Because I detested that, but he insisted he wear that damn bucket hat all the time. Would never take it off.”
Her voice is a buzzing in my ears as I pull the photo from its spot and hold it up to my face, blinking at the boy I’d teased relentlessly my sophomore year. I’d teased him at soccer and football practices while he marched in the band, making sure everyone heard my vile, mean comments. I did it right up until he left the school one day and never came back.
You’re so gay. Such a fag.
Look at him sucking on that sax like it’s a dick.
Ugly Alexander.
My heart pinches in my chest and the picture flutters to the counter as I take a step back. Reality smacks me in the face and it stings. I am positively on fire from the shame and guilt filtering through me.
And he had to have known who I am all this time. He has to know it’s me. I didn’t change my name, and I know I’m recognizable with my red hair and freckled skin. But Alec on the other hand…he looks nothing like he did in high school. I remember him being short and overweight with acne andglasses. Now he’s tall and muscular and doesn’t seem to have any trouble seeing. It’s like he completely recreated himself.
And his last name, Jones…but it’s such a common name, I didn’t even put it together.
Oh shit, I’m such an idiot.
“You okay?” Helen asks, her voice laced with concern. Probably because all the color has drained out of my face and I’ve started to shake. My knees are weak, and I feel like I’m going to collapse at any moment.
“Oh my, are you sick?” Helen is suddenly by my side, her arm around me just as Alec walks through the door to the kitchen. My gaze drags painfully over to him, and now I can see it. I can fuckingseeit.
It’s him. It’s in the slope of his nose and the shape of his eyes.
It’s him.
Alexander.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, reaching for me, but I stumble back, knocking the album off the counter, feeling like I’m going to pass out, my vision going black around the edges. Alec’s eyes drop to the open book on the floor and his face falls.
“Shit,” he murmurs, and I lift a trembling hand to my chest.
“You knew it was me,” I say softly, and Alec’s eyes close. “Please don’t lie to me. You knew it, didn’t you?”
He nods, swallowing roughly. “I did. I knew the minute I saw you. I didn’t seek you out or anything, it was just a coincidence. But when I saw you in that house, I knew it was you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, knowing Helen and her husband are probably so confused, but neither interjects. Instead, Helen leads George quietly out of the room, leaving us alone.
To face this, the demons of our past. Of my cruelty.
“I…I didn’t want…I didn’t think I needed to,” he says, and I shake my head, trying to gulp down air.
“But I bullied you, Alec. You should have said something! You should have told me who you were!” I shout and then drop my head into my hands as a realization comes into my idiotic brain.
My gaze snaps up to his as I stare at him, my vision blurring slightly.
“Was this…is this what Killian wanted you to tell me? Was this…oh fuck. What is this between us, Alec?”
He shakes his head. “It was…fuck, Jude. I don’t want to tell you. It doesn’t matter anymore. Please, let’s just forget it and move past this.”
“No, I can’t. Please tell me.”
“I…God, when I saw you, I thought maybe I could…fuck, this is so dumb. But I thought maybe I could get back at you for all that shit in high school…” His words trail off and what’s left is a whisper.
My heart sinks, and I feel my throat bob. “You mean, like revenge? Was that all this was? Was I really just some kind of twisted revenge plot?”
His silence confirms it, the unsaid words pinging off my brain painfully. I feel my heart fall in my chest and it thumps unevenly.
