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“Little Alpha, that comes with trauma. Our job is not to take away all the pain. We couldn’t possibly. However, we are here to help him through it and shoulder it and make every step easier than the last. I don’t want to but if he won’t talk with us, maybe it’s best we find someone he will speak with.”
This was too heavy of a conversation to be having over the phone and yet now that we were this deep into it, I couldn’t stop. “Like a psychiatrist?”
“Maybe. Or a friend. Anyone he’ll open up to. When Kieran decides to lean—and he will—he won’t ask for help, Ren. He needs to know that we will be here regardless because if we aren’t there to catch him, he’ll learn that there isn’t anyone to save him but himself.”
I couldn’t fathom that idea. “We’ll be here.” My voice came out as a whisper as I waited for Joel to return to the couch. “We’ll always be here for him.”
seven
JOEL
I ventured down the hallway after hanging up with Isaias, loving the renewed energy the call had brought into the house. The elated feeling didn’t last long as I stepped into an empty nest, only to hear sounds of wood slabs scraping against each other down the hall. I hurried into the nursery, surprised to see a shirtless Kieran setting up the crib we had panic bought a year ago. It was a beautiful mahogany contraption but Kieran had lost the drive to see this room through while also refusing to let any of us step in here. This was an extension of his nest, one that he wanted to—needed to—build on his own.
For a few moments, I watched him work, his sweats sitting low on his wide hips, revealing the mass design of tattoos and scars across his front. Muscles rippled through his arms and back as he picked up another slab of the crib, a determined expression plastered on his face.
“Kieran?” I asked timidly, not wanting to mess with his concentration. My attention fell on our boys in the travel playpen in the opposite corner, both of them kicking their legs up as they tried to grab at the helicopter toys spinning above them. Open boxes sat beside it, telling me that Kieran had been in this room for a while.
The Omega twisted around, his green eyes flashing with an emotion I hadn’t seen in a awhile—excitement. His cheeks colored, his body slicked with sweat as he sat the wooden slab down on the floor. “Sorry, I just needed to move.” Kieran’s eyes darted to our babies before they landed back on me, almost as if he was asking for permission or apologizing. Or both.
“I’m happy to see it, Kieran. No, not like that,” I said and rushed over to him when his shoulders fell. “I’m just saying that I’m glad to see you in here again. You used to go on and on about how this room would look when it was finished and I’m excited to see it.” That brought a tight smile back to his face but it was enough. For now.
“I’m not completely ready but I’m getting there,” he muttered and wrapped his arms around me, crushing me against his sweaty chest. I would never admit it but I liked his musky smell, not as much as he liked ours but a fair amount. The scent of peaches turned almost spicy in these moments, making me want to drag my tongue down his chest and across his soft stomach. “You’re anxious.”
I pulled back, a little worried that Kieran was still feeling us through the temporary bite on Ren’s shoulder. It should have all but faded now and yet Kieran’s head was tilted, studying my expression, trying to wrangle information out of me that I didn’t have. Isaias hadn’t really explained on the phone. I just knew that it wasn’t good. “I’m going to grab us some breakfast from the diner. Isaias should be here within the hour and then we can spend Valentine’s Day together the way packs are supposed to.”It was meant to be a lighthearted statement of events but it came off a little dry.
Kieran merely shrugged and released me. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“That was on purpose.” I wasn’t trying to lie to him but I didn’t have the answers he needed. Kieran needed reassurance but he’d never ask for it. I couldn’t give him anything that wouldn’t have him grabbing our babies and huddling in the nest again. “Ren’s in the living room, alright? You want anything in particular?” I hoped he wouldn’t try to push the issue.
“Just a blueberry bagel.”
“ThatI can do,” I purred before reaching up to place a kiss on his lips. His worried gaze followed me out of the room and I knew it would be several moments before he started working again. However, this was my little bit of freedom—the moments where I could think of all the things I wanted for our pack, for our babies, and for their future. A shallow melody fell from my lips after I kissed Ren goodbye as well before heading down the sidewalk.
It felt good knowing that Isaias would be back. I checked my phone, not surprised that Isaias had left a voice message saying that he was about twenty minutes out. The tendril of excitement through the bond was growing and for the first time, I could feel all three of our mates—Kieran was faint—but he was still there.
I placed a hand over my chest as if to soak up the warmth spreading through my chest.
“Joel!” An overenthusiastic squeal sounded as I stepped into the diner, The Pink Dome. A young Beta no older than Ren ran from behind the counter and stepped up to me, her hands clasped together. She was all smiles, her full blonde curls bouncing around her face, her hazel eyes searching my face. “You haven’t been in a while. We don’t have the hazelnut coffee but we have a new flavor-”
“Phoebe, let the man breathe!” Her Alpha mother called out, sending me a warm smile as she waved her daughter back. I nodded, grateful for the breathing room as I moved to the counter. A few of the patrons had looked up at Phoebe’s disturbance but decided to ignore us when they realized it was just me.
When we first strolled into the small town, I was in here all the time bringing little pastries and hazelnut coffees to Ren while he was studying for exams. Kieran asked for the occasional bagel and Isaias dabbled in the cinnamon espresso every now and then. As things became a little more tense within the house, I didn’t venture out as much. My gaze traveled around the homey restaurant, my smile growing as I realized that Valentine’s Day had basically thrown up in here. Pinks and reds covered every available space, the family happiness from Phoebe and her mother exploding through the place.
Phoebe’s mother, Ava, nodded toward the glass case. “Anything catch your fancy today, dear?”
I snorted, knowing that if I videoed Ren, he’d ask for one of each of the little cakes and a pack of the oatmeal raisin cookies. I wasnotgoing to have that much sugar in the house. Ren with a cup of coffee was bad enough. “Just bagels if you have them. Six, I guess. 2 cinnamon, 2 blueberry, and 2 cheese?” She nodded as Phoebe scurried to the back to grab the freshest ones.
Ava leaned forward, lowering her voice. She was one of the nicest Alphas I had ever met and it was clear to see where Phoebe had gotten her looks from. Where the Beta had curls, Ava’s was straight and pulled back into a tight ponytail, the blonde nearing an almost pearlescent shade of white. “How’s the family? Phoebe wasn’t wrong when she said she hasn’t seen you in here for a little bit.”
“Busy with the babies,” I chuckled, trying to hide the sliver of anxiety that was creeping up.
“You’re a good liar but I can still see right through you.” She twisted away to look at the coffee syrups, pulling out the new flavor Pheobe had been about to tell me about. “The hazelnut isn’t in stock but I’ve got a raspberry chocolate? Oh, don’t turn your nose up on it. It’s for Valentine’s Day!” I managed a shrug, knowing that Ren would probably love it.
“Sure, one of those. Two regulars and then-”
“The cinnamon espresso for Isaias. I remember. Phoebe? Where’s the bagels?”
She scurried back in with a bag. “Here! I had to add the new cream cheese and jelly flavors!” I shook my head as I grabbed the bag, Phoebe helping Ava with the coffees. I absentmindedly ran my fingers across the counter as I waited, shooting them another grin when I was handed the drink tray. Ava threw a small bag of fudge in the middle, shooing me away when I tried to protest.
