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I didn't want that kind of reminder but I also knew just from her words and the look in her eyes that her demons were eating her from the inside out. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“Not really. I’m safe. He didn’t get me. No one did. And I got to meet my nephews. Why do I have to talk about it?” Nala had pulled her knees up against her chest again. She was hiding. For a while, I felt the same way. Everything had already happened, talking about it just made it worse. She slapped at the bandage around her neck, grimacing when the edge started peeling. “I’ll be right back.”
When she returned, she was more guarded but still plopped down next to me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She spat at me suddenly. I lost interest in the screen and turned toward her. “What? Nothing happened to me. I was unscathed and-”
“But it still bothered you, didn’t it? The scars they left aren’t physical ones. Not all wounds can be seen, Nala.”
“No one hurt me," She said again, a clipped edge to her words.
“Okay,” I said, giving in. Nala would open up on her own time but it kept reminding me that I needed to do the same with my mates. They couldn’t help if they didn’t know what was going on. There hadn’t been any nightmares last night but that didn’t mean they had disappeared and if I ever hoped to get better, I had to speak up.
Nala scooted a little closer until she was tucked against my side, the babies peacefully sleeping on their blanket. It feltcomfortable. Like a sibling that I had never had and never knew I needed had just waltzed into my life.
That day had been our day of peace and a few days after as well. No word from Zahria or Xylo to ruin it, nothing further on the case—just silence as we navigated our new normal. I found renewed life and energy as I continued fixing up the nursery, Nala all too happy to help with my sons.
She hung out in the same room with me most times, monitoring the status of my heat and coaching me through breathing exercises to wade through the waves. My mates were fully aware that any day now I’d be an uncontrollable, horny mess and Nala had offered to babysit. I couldn’t fucking imagine what it would be like knowing that a pack was fucking their Omega through a heat until Isaias assured me that the nest was soundproof.
Well, then. That was good news.
Nala had become a little more comfortable around Isaias, but still weary when he got a little too heated. However, it was like a dream come true waiting for my mates to come back from errands and work, Nala eagerly pulling out all the ingredients for dinner but not starting until Ren was there. Last night’s dinner had been her best by far, the broccoli casserole just a little singed on the top. Nala had been ecstatic when we all gave her a thumbs up.
I caught her watching the sweet kisses and touches we doled out, her dreamy eyes following the movements until she got caught and turned away. The sadness wasn’t entirely because of her history with Michael but because of what she wanted in life. It wasn’t a secret that Nala wanted children and a big pack where she was loved and adored. Unfortunately, her memories still haunted her, Nala still sleeping with her door open even after spending a few days with us.
I didn’t even know why until tonight when I got up to change the babies. The nursery half finished, I could finally use the changing table, humming a sweet melody to calm their crankylittle selves. “All done!” I said softly before gathering them up against my chest again, hoping that I’d be able to sleep the rest of the night. Isaias’ chest had been warm and the cold draft moving through the house was not as inviting as it seemed.
Little whimpers and murmurs flooded the hallway and I looked into Nala’s room, the little Omega clutching the edge of the blanket. Her eyes were scrunched closed, her entire body shaking as tears streamed down her cheeks.“No, please. Don’t,”Nala whispered over and over. They were the same words I used to yell at Michael and as many times as Nala told me that nothing had happened, I knew that emotionally, Michael had toyed with her. Or someone else had.
I stepped inside, moving to the edge of the bed before she shot up out of bed, slapping her hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”
Shaking my head, I laid the babies on the mattress and leaned forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “No. It’s okay. I just came to check on you when I heard you.”
Her hands dropped to the bed, her breaths coming in ragged pants as she stared at me. “They were so close, Kieran. So close.”
“Fuck, Nala.” I gathered her in my arms as she raised off her knees and held me tight. I rocked her against me, wanting her to know that she had an entire family willing to go to bat for her. “I’ve got you. You’re safe here.” Even as I continued to say it, until Michael was permanently gone, I wouldn’t 100% believe it.
“Can you… can you wait until I fall back asleep? I… or get Joel and-”
“I’d be happy to. Why don’t you grab Leo and I’ll hold Elias?” I waited for her to scoop up my son and watched as she scooted backward to the edge. Then I climbed on and laid across from her, my babies in between us. She mirrored my movements as I began patting Elias’ back softly to put him back to sleep. Within minutes the babies were snoring, Nala's eyes closed as herbreathing softened. She twitched a few times but then settled, murmuring a soft ‘thank you’.
twenty-three
TERRENCE
Today was the day. The exam that determined the rest of my life. Rationally, I knew I'd pass it even though I hadn't studied as hard the last few days. That didn't make it any less nerve-wracking to think that after today I'd be able to finally start making a difference.
I blew out a deep breath as I gathered myself together and climbed out of the nest, not surprised that Kieran and our sons were missing. Walking to Isaias’ room in the back, I began searching for what to wear, losing my mind in a last minute regurgitation of facts for my exam.
My entry into his closet had been entirely innocent after stripping down to my boxers until my gaze fell on the wall of toys I hadn’t really gotten back into. I saw the toys every now and then but the excitement that came with giving Isaias full control hadn’t completely returned.
Still, running my fingers along many of the binds, straps, and plugs, a shiver of pleasure ran down my spine. There had been a time when I eagerly ran into Isaias’ closet when he texted me that it was time to play.
He’d heighten my pleasure tenfold and then tell me how much he loved me. I missed those moments.
A noise sounded behind me and I squeaked as I turned around to see Isaias staring at me with a curious expression. His gaze dipped to the blindfold I had accidentally swiped, his brow raising with a question. “Color?”
I could say that I didn’t want to play, that I would rather just get ready, that it was a mistake I was in here. But did I want that? We hadn’t truly played since Thanksgiving and hearing that Joel had swallowed Isaias’ whole knot had me wanting more than the filthy kisses and hand jobs we had managed when Nala wasn’t watching.
