AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Nico never showed last night.
After saying he would, he never turned up or even sent me a quick message to tell me why.
I don’t want to be the clingy girl who freaks out or feels insecure. I never want to become one ofthosewomen, who is fully reliant and dependent on a man, only to break every time he messes up. I watched my mother do it for long enough and promised myself I would be different. But somewhere along the line and in the limited amount of time that I’ve known Nico, he has me feeling this way. On edge. Anxious. It’s frustrating. He came into my life like a whirlwind and has turned me into someone I don’t want to be. He has me second guessing everything and screwing up my carefully laid plans.
Ugh. I’m my mom.
I would laugh if it wasn’t so pathetic.
Shaking my head, I focus on my dancing, moving intodemi pliebefore forming aGlissadeposition. Gliding my working foot from the fifth position and in the required direction, I extend and glide. Extend and glide. When I feel like I have done enough, I move into aGrand Jete, working my body harder than I havedone in a long time. It’s just past six thirty in the morning and I’ve been in here nearly an hour already.
Thankfully, Elenore, the lady who owns and runs the studio, is an early riser and opens at five thirty every morning. It suits me perfectly and means I can get a workout in before my shift atBellissima. It’s much needed today, perfect for me to work out my pent-up frustrations.
“Wow, you’re an incredible dancer, Ocean.” The soft voice distracts me, making me stumble.
Righting myself, I turn to face Elenore, my chest heaving with exertion. I smile. “Thank you.”
She waves me off. “Sorry for distracting you. I just couldn’t walk away without telling you. You’re captivating. You should be with the New York Ballet, traveling the world, not in my little studio.”
My chest tightens. “That’s very kind of you, but I don’t think that’s in the cards for me,” I tell her. And maybe in another life, I would be. After years of practice, I know I’m good. I had no choice but to be. My mother enrolled me in ballet school as soon as I could walk. Had things been different and my father not… I shake the thought away before it can form. Anyway, it’s not like I don’t get to dance. It’s just not at the level I wish it could be.
Her eyes light up. “You know, I’ve danced most my life, too. I didn’t quite make it to the level I would have liked, but that’s because I wasn’t as talented as you are. I have some friends. They know people. Maybe I could have them come and assess you?” I’m shaking my head before she even finishes. She pins me with a glare, not one bit perturbed by me cutting her off. “If it’s the money you’re worried about, there are scholarships, Ocean. A girl with pure talent like you, well, that shouldn’t go to waste. From what I’ve seen, you are a very gifted and unique dancer. Something most people could only dream of possessing. Don’t let whatever is scaring you, hold you back. You only getone life, Ocean, take what you can before it’s too late.” She shoots me a contemplative look, before turning on her heels and disappearing back through the door.
Sighing, I grab my bottle of water, mulling over Elenore’s words. She is right. I know she is. There just isn’t a single thing I can do about it. I can’t risk being seen.
My priority is staying hidden and if that means sacrificing my dreams, then so be it.
***
Instead of being even more pitiful than I already am, and spending the day thinking about Nico, I keep myself busy atBellissima. I go out of my way to help anyone who needs it. When Monica, one of the hair stylists, asks me to bring coffee to one of her clients, I do. When Sian asks me to go to the tea shop down the street and purchase the special herbal tea that one of her ladies’ drinks, I do it without hesitation. I figured, if I keep busy, then it will stop any and all thoughts about Nico. It does. To an extent.
Though we haven’t talked about what we are doing or whether we are even exclusive, I really hope he wasn’t with another woman last night. The thought alone has my chest tightening painfully. I pause what I’m doing. Oh my God. Is that why he didn’t come to see me? My heart beats erratically in my chest. I clench my jaw. He said I was his. Surely that same notion applies to him. I huff a laugh. You only have to look at him to know that isn’t the case. Rich, successful and so handsome it hurts to look at him. He could have anyone he wanted. While I believe I’m just... average at best.
I hate my self-depreciating thoughts, but until recently I lived in a hostel and took off my clothes to make a living. Nicoshould be with an actress or a model, someone on his level. Not little Ocean Embers, who is not only a nobody but also has a whole closet full of secrets and skeletons. And no matter how much I want to, I could never tell him, for fear of what would happen to both him and me. I groan inwardly, so caught up in my negative thoughts that I don’t hear the door open or see the person stepping up to the front desk.
“Ocean?”
I startle at the masculine voice, my gaze snapping up and landing on Leo. He wears a frown on his face as he looks at me, but just seeing him brings a smile to mine. He gave me a chance. Was a friend. And I’m the shitty person who hasn’t made time to see him since I left The Executive Club.
“Leo.” I beam, stepping around the counter and giving him a hug.
He wraps me up in his arms and I didn’t realize until this moment how much I needed a hug. “Whoa, how ya doing girl?” he chuckles, pushing me back some so he can look at me.
I shake my head, stepping out of his hold. “I’m good. I miss seeing you and Selena at the club but I’m doing alright here. Everyone is so nice here, so there’s that.”
He laughs. “Way to be subtle, Ocean. It was no secret that all the girls hated you apart from Selena.”
“Yeah.” I sigh my agreement.
“What time do you get off? I thought we could grab a drink before I have to get over to the club. Grant is opening up tonight, so I have a little time before I need to be there.”
I check the clock on the wall, smiling when I see it’s just before seven. “In five minutes actually. And yeah, a drink would be great.”
His brow raises. “Bad day?”
“You could say that,” I grumble. I don’t know what Leo knows about me and Nico, or if he knows anything at all. ButI’m not about to tell him. Not only is Nico his boss but they are friends. I’m not going to get in between that with my drama.
He searches my face for a long beat before blowing out a breath. “Come on, get finished up and I will get you that drink.”
