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"What? Wilby, I don't know what you have planned, but?—"
"Just trust me, okay?Please. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. It's just an idea."
I stare into his eyes and nod. I do trust him. I know he won't make me do anything I don't want to. He knows how much my mom's ashes mean to me, so he wouldn't mess about with that.
I retrieve the box containing Mom's ashes and meet him out the front. He's already in the Land Rover so I climb into the passenger seat.
Neither one of us says anything as he takes off. I'm holding the box in my lap. Back home, I stored her ashes in an urn, but for safety and logistical reasons while traveling, I placed them in an airtight black box to ensure there was no accidental spillage.
We stop a few minutes later by a river I don't remember seeing before. The house is a little square in the distance behind us. Wilby gets out and runs around to my side, then opens the door and holds out a hand to help me out.
"I don't remember there being a river here," I say, looking out at the stream.
"Like everything else 'round here, it dried up. It's connected to a basin up north. We've had a lot of rain, but they copped a drenching up there. This river will get even wider over the coming days."
When he finishes talking, he bends over and takes off his shoes and socks. I place the box onto the ground and do the same.
"It's amazing how fast grass can grow," I say, marveling at the patches of green growing over what used to be raw, brown earth.
"It is." Wilby straightens and takes in all the lush new growth. He moves toward the river. "We used to come here as kids with Mum. This is—washer favorite spot."
He winces, shaking his head, the memory of his mom overwhelming him. I step over to him and rub my hand up and down his back. "I can see why. It's beautiful."
Tears form in the corners of his eyes. He takes a deep breath and turns to me. "You said you were waiting for a sign to, you know…" He tips his head toward the box of ashes. "Your name meansfrom the river, so I thought it might be nice to return herto the river."
His head darts between the water and me, and then he grimaces. "You know what, now that I'm hearing myself say it out loud, it sounds stupid. Just forget it. Let's go home."
"No."
His eyes snap to mine.
"It… It sounds like a good idea. I think it's time. I'd like to do it. Here."
"Really? Are you sure? Because I meant it when I said you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."
"Thank you. I know that." I pick the box up, and immediately my eyes start to sting. But I've already made my mind up. Thisisthe perfect moment to do this. To set Mom—and myself—free.
It's the right time.
The right place…
And the right person to do it with.
"I've been waiting for so long to do this," I begin, the words heavy on my tongue as they come out. "But now's the time. I can feel it. In here." I rub a hand over my heart.
Wilby smiles. "Would you like me to leave you alone? I can go back to the house and pick you up a bit later?"
"No. Stay." My lower lip quivers. "I'd like you to be here. Please."
"Of course. Of course I'll stay."
I walk closer to the river. Wilby stays near, but I appreciate the way he's giving me space while staying close enough that I can sense his presence and not feel alone.
I step into the water, the cold catching me by surprise. I look over my shoulder. "I don't know what to say. You'd think that after all this time, I'd have a speech prepared or something."
"There are no rules here, Col. You can say whatever you want, or you don't have to say anything at all. It's totally up to you."
I give a little nod and open the box. I immediately look away. I've never liked looking at the ashes directly. It freaks me out that that's what a human body can be turned into. I know the wholeashes to ashes,dust to dustbit, but it doesn't mean I have to see it.
