AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"What he said," Fitz agrees with a hearty nod.
"One thousand percent," Muir adds.
I look over at my last remaining lifeline of sanity. "Linus? What do you think?"
"I agree with what everyone's been saying. Ryde's assessment is correct. Col is completely smitten and in love with you for reasons that shall remain an eternal mystery to everyone in this room. And Fitz and Muir are equally correct."
"That I'm a fucking dingus?"
"No. Well, yes. Maybe." Linus grins. "But what I think they were getting at is something deeper that you might want to look at."
"I'm afraid to ask."
"So don't ask, and I'll tell you anyway. You said you're worried that this life might not be enough for Col. But that's amatter for Col to decide, not you. The question you need to ask yourself is are you afraidyou'renot going to be enough for Col?"
Linus lifts a hand in the air, staving off my inevitable retort. "Please don't make this about your dick. I'm being serious. Love means showing someone every single part of you. That's scary as hell because guess what? People are shitheads and they leave you. They lie. They steal. They cheat. When you open up to someone, you're laying it all on the line. You're trusting another person not to steamroll all over your heart. That kind of vulnerability takes a huge amount of strength. And I think, no, wait. Iknowyou've got it in you. Youarea strong person, but you have to work out your own shit, whatever's blocking you from being able to fully open yourself up to him. Because this isn't about Col. It's about you."
Wow. Trust Linus to call it like it is. But, strangely, I think I needed to hear that. I didn't get any lightning bolt of clarity, but I feel less jumbled than before.
The guys have to get back to work, and I have to get back home. I hug each of them before they duck away.
Linus hangs around until it's just him and me in the staff room. "Thanks, mate. I really needed to hear that."
"Have you reached any conclusions?"
"Yeah. That I can't let my doubts and fears fuck up what could be the best thing I've ever had."
He smiles. "Glad to hear you say that. We all have that inner snake that wants to worm its way into our lives and ruin things. That tells us we're not good enough, or smart enough, or handsome enough."
"I don't have that snake," I retort with a grin, propping my hands on my hips. "But Idohave another sna?—"
Linus bundles me into a tight hug. "Shut up, mate. We were doing so well."
"I owe you one," I say once we break apart.
"Nah. Just buy me a packet of Tim Tams, and we'll call it even."
We say goodbye. I drive the short distance to the landing strip, jump into my plane, and make my way back home.
It's tough taking on that inner critic that we all have living inside of us. But I have to give it my all to defeat him, because the life I could have with Col is too fucking good to throw away.
35
Col
"Wilby doesn't normally work at the clinic during muster season, does he?"
"Uh, well, you know…"
I chuckle and place a hand on Polly's shoulder. "Say no more. I can see it in your face."
"Why? What's my face doing?"
"Lying," I say with a laugh, and after a few seconds, she relents and smiles.
"I'm sorry, my love. I think he just needed some space. You've really affected him."
She hands me a plate, and I start drying it, staring out the window above the sink at the beautiful day outside. Everything is so much greener since it rained. The wet weather continued after I left so the drought is officially over. I hope Mrs. Mangle's been looking after Wilby in the meat pie department.
