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"It did," he agrees with a sigh. "But it's worth it to see you like this."
Like what?"
"Happy."
"I am happy. And balanced, too."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean, I think one of the reasons why Wilby and I work so well together is because we balance each other out. We both have a tendency to swing, going high, then crashing back down. Me more than him for obvious reasons. But when we're together, we sort of stabilize."
"Like when we were kids on a seesaw, and we'd always try to get it so we were both off the ground."
"Exactly. And you kept messing it up."
"I did not."
"Yes you did."
"No.Youdid."
I'd continue this argument—and I'd win—but we pull up by the river, and a wall of nerves slams into me.
"You'll be fine," Brant says as he unbuckles. "You've found yourself a great guy. We're all here to support you and celebrate with you. And…" He pauses and tilts his head forward, looking up to the sky. "Your mom will be here, too, and she'll be so proud of the man you've become."
"Oh my god." I wave my hand in front of my eyes. "I'm trying not to cry here."
"Sorry, sorry. Uh… How about this? You'll nail it, and in a few hours from now, you'll be nailing Wilby. Better?"
"Much."
We get out of the car. We're the last ones to arrive so the kids are running around while Wilby is pointing something out to Dad.
When they see us approaching, Dad ducks his head and dabs at his eye. Hmmm. I didn't bring bug repellent, but maybe I should have?
Which gets me thinking… Oh my god. What if I get down on one knee, launch into my pre-planned spiel, only to get attacked by a killer swarm of oversized Australian bugs? Hey…itcouldhappen.
No. No. No. That's just my overactive imagination talking.
Stay focused, Col.
We hang out by the river for a few minutes. I fill Dad and Brant in on the day we scattered Mom's ashes. Wilby comes over and takes me by the hand, then leads me away from the others.
"Look over there." He points eastward to a…a…?
"What is that?"
He smiles at me. "It's called a sundog. Ever heard of it?"
"No."
I stare at the bright patch of light in the sky, yellow, pink, and orange in color.
"It's caused by atmospheric conditions similar to those that produce a rainbow, but it's small and round." Wilby leans in and whispers, "I think it's your mum."
"Yeah." I start nodding, the certainty and connection to her presence rising within me. "It is. It's her."
I heave in a deep breath. If ever there was a sign that this is the time to do it…
