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"Whoa-oh-oh-oh!"
The noise is coming from outside. I need background noise to fall asleep, so I always leave the window open a crack.
But that sound?
That's…not right. Some inconsiderate asshole is singing the refrain from Katy Perry's "Roar."
Loudly.
Badly.
Very,verybadly.
It's—I grab my phone—10:23 at night, for fuck's sake.
I rip off the bed sheet and stomp toward the window, lifting it so that it opens all the way, and stick my head out.
A drunk guy wearing a black cowboy hat is wobbling his way down the alley, because, yeah, the glorious view out of my hotel is of an illustrious back alley filled with a ton of lovely-smelling, industrial-sized garbage containers.
"Hey!" I yell out, managing to restrain my inner New Yorker andnotcall him an asshole.
The guy stops walking. Spins to his left. Right. Wobbles a bit on his feet. Then left again. Looking literally anywhere but in my direction.
I wave a hand. "Up here."
He lifts his head, spots me, and waves back with a smile. "Oh, hey. What's up, mate?"
What's up?What's up?Is he for fucking real?
My sigh turns into a low-level growl.
Wait.
Wait, wait.
I may be exhausted and jet-lagged as fuck, but my brain is sending me a signal that something's not quite right here.
And it's not just the terrible singing that woke me up.
Or the fact the dude is wearing a cowboy hat in the city.
He runs a hand along his smooth chest before dropping it to his hip.
Ah, there it is. The missing detail.
He's not just butchering a pop song in the middle of the night, he's alsoshirtless.
Why is he shirtless, and why is this suddenly something I have to deal with?
I just want to sleep.
My room is on the third floor, and the shirtless singing cowboy is standing in between two streetlights, but even in the dim yellow glow, it's clear that this guy has got the whole buff Aussie bod thing going on.
Which reminds me, I need to check out Bondi Beach while I'm in Sydney. I may or may not have become addicted to a certain reality TV lifeguard show filmed there.
But I'm getting sidetracked.
I extend my hands through the window and shake them. "Do you mind?"
