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"It was good to see you, too, Col."
I think a lot about Polly on the drive back to town. How nice it must be not just to have a grandmother, but one as cool as her.
By the time I get back to Scuttlebutt, I know two things for sure. One, I am starving and in need of food. Stat.
And two, I have no doubt that my next text to Wilbywillbe answered.
20
Wilby
Wilby:I believe you've been trying to reach me?
I'm a grown, twenty-six-year-old man currently thousands of kilometres away from home, so you'd think copping an earful from my grandmother over the phone wouldn't scare me.
But you'd be wrong.
Dead wrong.
I've just gotten off the phone with her. She blasted the fuck out of me, told me to pull my head out of my arse, and ordered me to not wait until Col messaged again, but to contact himimmediatelyand apologise.
So, that's what I'm doing.
Apart from the apology. I'd rather get one of her well-aimed kicks up my backside than do that.
Col:Why, yes, I have. Apparently the internet in Scuttlebutt isTHE WORST.
Wilby:It totally is. It's like living in the prehistoric times of dial-up internet and modems. Imagine how hard it is for me to watch porn. It always cuts out at the worst time.
Col:Poor you. Want a tissue?
Wilby:Why? I'm not jerking off now?
Col:Ugh,I meant for your tears. Anyway, this whole thing is moot because you're not in Scuttlebutt right now, are you?
Wilby:Why are you asking a question you already know the answer to?
Col:Why are you so annoying?
Wilby:You sayin' I get under your skin? You are so obsessed with me.
Col:Youdoget under my skin… Like a parasite.
Wilby:Well, I did enjoy nibbling on your flesh.
Col:That's gross.
Wilby:You started it.
Col:Mature. Can you try not being a dick for once? Please!
Wilby: Ah, so it's not me you're obsessed with but my cock. Can't say I blame ya. It is the best you've ever had… Right?
Wilby: I KNOW I'm right.
Wilby: Tell me I’m right.
Col: Maybe… But it's based on a very small sample size.
