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As if picking up on my subtle mood change, Marco leans over, picks up a cookie, and takes a bite. I offer him a small smile, guilt still driving me hard. He should be with his family. It should have never been Marcowho came with me, but I am grateful and selfish that he is. He is a piece of the famiglia and home I knew.
“Maybe you should wait until you’re married, like you planned,” Rya suggests, noticing the mood change.
I want to smile and brush it off, but I simply can’t. I’m sick of keeping my wants and feelings inside to please others. And if I can’t talk to my sister, then who can I talk to? “What if I don’t want marriage?”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to marry anyone any longer.” Because she did it for both of us, and our families’ contract is now fulfilled. The Monti got their Ricci. Rya was always meant to marry Crue, but she refused. So, as the contract stated, a Monti had to marry a Ricci daughter, and I was next in line. And I was going to do it. Not because I wanted to but because Ihadto. I couldn’t risk my father being killed. But, thankfully, Rya realized how much she loves Crue despite the contract.
And here we are.
I’m a free woman.
But I’m still figuring out exactly what that means. Especially as I was always told I had to marry, but did I want that myself?
I now live freely in a whole new country and earn my own money. And that’s a big thing, considering I grew up with the idea that I would never be free and that a man would always control me.
“It’s just all new here, you know? I really want to figure out what I wantfor myself. And I know that sounds stupid because I’m twenty-seven, but it wasn’t easy for me after you left.”
A somber atmosphere takes over the room. Feeling almost silly, I divert my gaze as I focus on kneading the dough, grateful for the distraction. I love my sister, I’ve always been envious of her courage, but in truth, I felt left behind. Now I see her almost daily, as if time hasn’t affected us. But she’s established, and I’m… well, I don’t know.
She puts her hand over mine. I look at her. My sister isn’t overly affectionate, and it brings tears to my eyes.
“I never wanted to leave you behind,” she says earnestly. “But I had to do it for me, and I’m sorry it left you with that responsibility.”
I nod. “I already know that,” I say as I wipe a tear with the back of my hand.Oh my God, why am I crying?This is embarrassing. “It’s just a stark realization that I’ve only ever pleased others. I love our father and don’t hold it against him, but it’s a lot being here too. And it seems crazy with the new apartment and job. It’s happening so fast, but in a good way, I guess.” I smile brightly because I’m certain I am happy about how things are progressing.
She considers me briefly before saying, “Do you want me to call Dawson and tell him to stay away from you? I can make my husband do it.” She winks.
I choke out a laugh, grateful for her lightening the mood. And Dawson is certainly not the issue here. Although, he does take up far too much of my attention.
“I will do no such thing,” Crue says, re-entering the kitchen.
Rya glares at him as she taps her nails on the counter. “Oh, you think you can just say no to me?” She scoffs.
He stops and thinks about his answer. “If I say yes, does that mean I don’t get to fuck you tonight?”
“Hm,” is all the response she gives before she turns back to her papers, hiding a smile.
“What do you want me to ask him?” Crue questions as he steps up behind Rya and wraps his arms around her waist. “I want it stated that Dawson is a very clever man and will know it’s not a threatening message from me.”
“And dangerous, don’t forget that,” Rya adds.
“I think everyone in our world is dangerous, princess. Even you.” Crue leans in and kisses her cheek.
She seems satisfied by his answer.
“No, don’t say anything. He’s my boss, and I can respect those boundaries. I’m sure he can too,” I reply. Again, that isn’t my main concern. However, I immediately think of his tattoo, which screams complications and something next level.
“Are you sure?” Rya asks. “I can get Crue to kick his ass.”
He grumbles something in her ear, and she ignores him.
I wave her off with a laugh and add more flour to the dough.
I can totally deal with my boss.
I think.
CHAPTER 10
