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A ball of helpless rage shot me to my feet. My chest was too tight. I couldn’t catch my breath. My hands flexed and straightened at my sides.
I wouldn’t see my baby girl every day anymore.
Before I knew I was going to do it, I had ripped my keyboard away from my computer and hurled it across the room. It landed with an impotent clatter, not even having the decency to break.
“Motherfucker!” I bellowed, ripping at my hair in frustration.
My chest hurt. My stomach ached. My lungs were the size of shriveled grapes. I didn’t want to be in this office. I wanted my girls. My family.
Stalking out of my office, I stopped at Catherine’s desk, my gaze landing on her drawer, and I knew what I needed.
A nice dose ofP.S. You’re intolerable.
I hadn’t looked in the drawer since she’d been back from maternity leave, and now I wondered what she’d been writing.Ifshe’d been writing.
She didn’t find me intolerable anymore, that much I was sure of. But Catherine still played a lot of her feelings close to the vest.
Sliding the drawer open, I tossed the tampon box aside and retrieved her secret envelope. It was tan instead of white. Frowning at my discovery, I placed it on her desk and sank into her chair.
This envelope was unquestionably thinner than the previous one I’d invaded. It was newer too, and when I peeked inside, there were far fewer strips of paper.
She must have started a new collection when she’d returned.
I unceremoniously dumped the contents on the desk. Strips of paper with Catherine’s neat handwriting fluttered across the surface. Forcing myself to wait to read them, I arranged the strips in neat rows.
Only then did I pick up the first one.
P.S. I hope your pillow is cool tonight.
That wasn’t an angry message. I read the next one.
P.S. May your bread always toast evenly.
P.S. You have a very cute butt.
I laughed. My heart was across town in a house I despised, but her words still made me laugh.
I kept reading.
P.S. You make me feel safer than I ever have.
P.S. My stomach butterflies are demanding a raise from how much overtime you’re making them work.
P.S. You talk in your sleep, and it makes me smile.
P.S. You’re going to be a great dad.
P.S. I’m falling so hard for you, Elliot Levy.
My head fell forward, too heavy to hold upright anymore. What was I doing here on my own?
If Catherine wanted to live in that house, I’d move in with her.
When Liam showed up to meet Joey, I needed to keep my promise and be right there with them. They were my family. Those were my girls.
I couldn’t control everything, but this I could. Being there, no matter what. Showing Catherine I wasn’t going to leave, that she had every reason to feel safe with me, and proving she could keep falling because I wasn’t going anywhere.
I looked at the clock.
