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The day came when Liam was supposed to be getting on his plane in Australia to fly to Denver. We’d spoken through text a few times over the last week, and every day that passed had made me more and more nervous.
He’d once been enthusiastic about being a father. What if that had come back and we had to figure out how to split custody while living across the world from each other? I didn’t think I could bear Joey being gone from me for weeks at a time.
I also couldn’t keep her away from Liam if he wanted a relationship with her, even if she already had a father.
Elliot came into the room carrying Joey. She’d learned to blow raspberries recently and hadn’t stopped showing off her new skill. Anyone who came within arm’s reach of her instantly became drenched in her saliva, but nothing deterred Elliot. When he saw her new trick, he proclaimed her a super genius and didn’t even blink when she drenched his shoulder with her drool.
“He hasn’t replied?” Elliot asked.
“No.” I held up my phone. “But he’s a notoriously bad texter, so…”
I hadn’t heard from Liam for a day. Since I’d asked him to send me the details of his hotel so I could arrange for a car to pick him up from the airport, like the kind and generous person I was.
Elliot sat beside me on the couch, handing Joey off to me when she reached her arms out. I plopped her on my lap and sighed, my heart flipping with one part hope, the other disappointment.
“I don’t think he’s coming,” I admitted.
I wasn’t disappointed for myself. My former friendship with Liam had crashed and burned and would never be revived. But one day, no matter how much Elliot and I loved her, Joey would ask what happened to the man who’d helped make her, and I’d have to tell her.
Elliot’s jaw clenched. He was holding back.
“It’s okay,” I told him. “You can say it.”
The look in his gaze was tender, but his jaw remained like stone. “I hope he doesn’t show. I don’t want him around my girls.”
I swallowed hard, choking back the thickness of my swirling emotions. “But one day, Joey will want to know why he didn’t come for her, and it breaks my heart to think of her hurting over this.”
“Mine too, and we can’t help that. It’s going to happen in one form or another. But here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to fill her up with so much love she’ll barely think about the tiny drip Liam might have provided had he stepped up like he should have. If she’s sad, it’ll be fleeting. She’ll be so secure in our home and the knowledge that she has two parents who’ve wanted her since the day they knew she existed.”
My eyelids lowered as I soaked in what he was saying. “You…?”
“I didn’t know my desire to take care of you meant I would love the baby inside you too, but it did. And when she moved under my hands, my entire world changed. No matter what happens with Liam, I’m here. I’m your pillar. Be confident you can lean on me because I will never let either of you down.”
He said this with such confidence I absorbed some of it. When the time came to have a tough conversation with Joey, I believed he’d be by my side.
I puffed out a breath, deciding to take action so I didn’t feel so helpless.
“I’m going to call Liam instead of sitting here wondering.”
I dialed his number and put my phone on speaker. We didn’t do secret phone calls in this house.
But it was no use since he didn’t pick up. Even worse, he sent me to voice mail. Minutes later, I had my answer anyway.
Liam:I’m sorry, Kit, but I can’t do this. You’re in good hands with Levy. I can tell he wants to take care of you and the baby so let’s let him. It’ll be better for everyone. Good luck in the future.
“Oh, fuck you,” I whispered. But contrary to my vicious curse, my eyes immediately filled with burning tears. I didnotwant to cry over fudging Liam.
Elliot took my face in his hands, wiping my stray tears with his thumbs. “Sweetheart…”
“I’m not sad over this guy.” I waved my phone around then tossed it down beside me. Joey squealed at the flying phone, so I held her against my shoulder and kissed the top of her head. She resumed blowing raspberries and tangling her wet fist in my hair.
My eyes lifted to Elliot’s, and for one fleeting moment, heaviness hung between us, then Joey made a giant raspberry and yanked the hell out of my hair, and it was gone, replaced with laughter.
We laughed with relief that we got to keep Joey all to ourselves.
Amusement at the messy baby we were both crazy over.
A little bit of sadness that Liam was such a massive letdown.
