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‘It wasn’t—’ He shoots her a look and she drops the platitudes. ‘Okay. The delivery wasn’t your best, but the actual content was really good. If those Cable people didn’t take copious notes, then they missed out.’
He pushes open his door with a heavy hand and she follows him inside.
‘Content is only half the presentation,’ he drops his stuff on the table, not caring as it spreads out messily. ‘I was meant to make up for my dented professionalism with the Cable people, and instead I proved how deserving I was of demoting myself to Infinity. They’re probably glad I don’t work there anymore.’
He tugs the suffocating tie off and throws it away, then drops into one of the desk chairs, running his hands through his hair and messing it up. Like he did with his presentation.
‘Their loss,’ Jules says, walking over to him. ‘Infinity is lucky to have you. Patricia thinks you’re a marketing genius.’
She massages the tight muscles of his shoulders and it feels good, it does. Physically. But.
‘I’m not in the mood, Jules.’
‘That’s okay. We can just do this.’
She continues working the muscles in his shoulders but he doesn’t get any less tense. ‘I don’t want to do this.’
‘No worries.’ Her hands fall away. ‘I have no idea how to give a proper massage anyway. What about a walk down to Circular Quay? Another ice-cream on me? Or one of those sugary coffees you like.’
‘No. Not this.’ He sucks in a breath, digs his own fist into his stomach. Spits out the words with his back turned so he can’t see her expression. ‘The fling.’
‘What?’ The word carries mixed emotions, enough he can’t pick any single one out.
He spins the chair to face her. Her lips are parted and her brow is furrowed. She stares at him, her blue eyes the shade of a summer sky.
He fumbles the top two buttons of his shirt open. ‘It was a bad idea from the start. Mixing work and relationships never works. I know that. I’d forgotten temporarily because you …’
‘Because I what?’
‘Distracted me.’ He curls his fists on his thighs. ‘You saw my presentation. That’s what happens when I let myself get distracted.’
‘Hang on.’ She shifts her weight on her feet and frowns. ‘Are you blaming me for how your presentation went?’
‘I’ve been spending all my free time with you.’ There’s an annotated schedule on the table behind him that will attest to that. ‘I only ran through my presentation once last night because of your ridiculous dance suggestion. And you spent the night here.’
‘Because you asked me to stay.’ Her voice gains a harsh edge and his insides jolt and jar.
‘Well I shouldn’t have.’
‘You were—You were the one who offered to be in this fling with me that first night.’
‘And now I’m taking it back.’ The words fall like granite boulders into the heavy air of the room. Hurt as much lurching out of his throat, too. ‘This fling is over.’
Jules takes a few steps away from him, crossing her arms over her body and pursing her lips together.
He can’t look at her, at the defensive state he pushed her into. On purpose. Because he has to if he wants to protect himself from destruction. So he’s pushing her away, pushing her so far back they’ll probably never even get back to what they had before this.
He stands and starts sorting his desk, gathering all the wasted paper of his presentation speech and programs into a pile. They’re going straight in the bin. Or maybe he’ll take them home and set them on fire. Seems fitting.
Because he’s annoyed and watching something burning down to ash could be poetic. Annoyed at Jules, sure, a little, but mostly at himself for getting played again. He’s the one who offered to be her fling on that first night, who can’t resist his urges around her, who let his feelings grow beyond his control and ended up getting himself into the same fucking mess that tanked his relationship with Braden and his career at Cable in a matter of days.
Even now, as he glances over at her, he finds her alluring as fuck with her flushed cheeks and fiery eyes, but he can’t go there. Infinity is going to hear about how much he bombed his presentation and it’s going to be another smear on his professional name. He can’t fall back any further after the step down he took to leave Cable. He’s got some kind of wall around him? Great. He’s going to shore it up so he doesn’t put his job at risk by letting his focus be pulled.
So he has to stop being with Jules. Fling, friendship and all. Now he’s aware of his feelings, he can’t be anything less than all or nothing with her. And she obviously doesn’t want all of him.
‘There’s still another day of the conference.’ Jules moves to stand on the other side of the desk from him, braces her hands on the surface.
‘You haven’t had enough sex already? Worked me out of your system?’ He yanks papers from beneath her splayed hands. They rip but it doesn’t matter anymore.
