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“Thank you for bringing us back here and making lunch.”
“Of course, Quinn! Thank you for letting me spend time with my grandbaby.” She smiles at me and continues to wash the dishes. I grab the dish towel and start to dry. The silence doesn't feel uncomfortable, but I can tell Darlene is holding something back; it doesn't take long for her to ask me what's on her mind, however.
“Must have been hard to go through the pregnancy and baby years all by yourself.”
“Not really, I had my best friend to help me out a lot. Paige has been there every step of the way. Through the tears and the pregnancy cravings. Who knew that ramen noodles and pickle juice could go so well together.” I can’t help but laugh at the memory.
“Why didn’t you say anything, Quinn? We would have helped you. I would have helped you.”
She genuinely seems hurt; I guess I can’t blame her. She missed the beginning years of her granddaughter’s life. This must also be how Eli feels. The guilt turns in my stomach.
But how much does she even know? It’s nice that she says that, but does she know how much it destroyed me when Eli rejected me, his true mate? Maybe she doesn’t know that I am his true mate. Does she know about Jake? Though how could she, I’m from the Clearwater Pack. Pretty sure everyone in her pack makes a conscious effort to not know what is going on with Clearwater.
“I don’t mean to push or anything. Sometimes, when life throws us a curveball, we make the best choices we can at that time. I think you are an amazing mother, and I am just so grateful I can help now. I guess I was just curious, it breaks my heart thinking of you experiencing all that alone, so I am glad to know you had such a good friend.”
I try to control the tears that want to pour down my face but it’s a futile attempt as they fall anyways. I take a shaky breath and try to focus my energy on not becoming a blubbering idiot. A good mother? Most days, I can barely get us through the day, but hearing someone say that gives me hope that we will be ok.
“Eli wasn’t the same after that night. Brad and I weren’t invited to the meetings. Still, Eli came to our place after and was completely destroyed. We found out later that he had…rejected you for his chosen mate. I desperately wanted to reach out because I know how hard it can be. I was also rejected by a chosen mate." She sighs. "Eli spent the next couple of years planning to take over the pack; he sought temporary comfort from many women but never kept anyone around, thank goodness. That’s why I was so happy when he said he would try that app! Maybe Seluna is bringing you two back together for a reason.”
A shot of jealousy rips through me as I think about these other women Eli must have been with. But what right do I have to be jealous? Stupid bond. It doesn’t matter that I don’t want to be jealous, the bond forces it on me anyway; I can feel my heart squeezing in my chest despite my desires. Does Darlene think I was his chosen mate? Does she not know I am his true mate? I left the meeting before I knew what was said to the rest of the packs because I was devastated, but maybe no one knew? Before I can control it, another tear slips down my cheek, and Darlene turns around and envelops me in her arms. I wrap my arms around her because it feels so good to be held by a mother. You can never really replace the comfort of a mother’s arms even if they aren’t your own mother’s. Having Darlene embrace me with kindness doesn’t necessarily stop the tears but actually makes me cry harder.
“I’m so sorry, Quinn! I didn’t mean to upset you; I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens between you and Eli, I will always be there for you and Maddie. You are a part of this family now, no matter what.”
She gently rubs my back. My tears slow, and I am finally able to breathe and face her. I’m not sure what to tell her about being Eli’s true mate, but I do know she needs to know how much I appreciate her kindness.
“It’s been a long time, Darlene, since someone truly hugged me like that. Paige has often comforted me, but it always feels better coming from a mother.” I push a breath out and try to refocus my thoughts.
“That night was one of the hardest nights of my life; I know I should have told Eli and…I regret keeping Maddie from him, but I was young and scared and didn’t know what to do. When I first met Eli, I thought my happily ever after was finally coming true, but then my dream disappeared in a matter of hours. Gone. I felt alone by the time I found out about the pregnancy. Things were getting stressful in my pack, so I thought it best to leave to keep me and Maddie safe. Thank you for understanding, Darlene; I can’t explain how much that means to me. I hope you and Maddie have a strong relationship.”
She is staring at me like I am just placating her, and maybe I am, but I’m not ready to commit to staying with Eli or this pack. I don’t know what’s happening with Jake, and until that is resolved, I need to focus on keeping Maddie and myself safe. After cleaning up the kitchen, Darlene leaves to go home, and Maddie and I are left to explore our new temporary home. The house is gorgeous, but it’s the backyard Maddie finds fascinating. The woods surrounding the house bring me peace. I almost forgot what it was like to live so close to nature. To feel the breeze on your face and smell the leaves mixed with the soil on the ground. My wolf stirs, excited to explore the woods, but it’s not the time to go for a joy run. Living in the city has been challenging, especially for my wolf; here, however, we could run and not fear that a human would see us. Maddie has been exploring the yard, picking up all sorts of bugs and sticks. It’s the happiest she has ever been. I’m sure she knows this is where she is meant to be. Near the woods…with a pack. I wonder if we will ever find a place to call home, a pack to call home where we will be safe. With Jake looming over our heads, I fear how long we will live in this limbo. Maddie and I are sitting on the grass behind the house when Eli opens the sliding door and comes out. I flush with heat, staring at him, reminding me how much our bond wants us to mate. He walks over with power and confidence in his step, making me nearly melt into the ground.
“Look at you girls! What have you been up to today?”
“Well, we had lunch with your mom, and Maddie napped. After that, we went outside to explore your backyard. We found many treasures, mainly rocks, sticks, and some bugs.” Eli squats right beside us, and I can’t help but notice his muscular legs in his jeans. I need to pull myself together. Maddie stands up and walks over to Eli to show him her collection of rocks.
“Well, I brought pizza home; you wanna eat?”
“YEAH!” Maddie jumps up and down in excitement.
Eli scoops her up, kissing the top of her head; he is just so friggen sweet! It’s like those cute puppy compilations. You can’t help but watch them over and over again, the puppy eyes and playful nature; you can’t look away, like what’s happening right now—cuteness overload. I wish my brain stayed in the ‘he is cute department,’ but it doesn’t take long to go right in the gutter—something about a man loving on a small child that makes you want to jump his bones. He looks down at me and offers his hand to help me up. I tentatively slip my hand into his, and a jolt goes through my body, his touch reminding me how much I want him. Finally standing on my feet, I look into his eyes. I'm not the only one affected when we touch; his eyes seem lit with desire. He is no doubt fighting the bond as I am, or maybe he is just trying to respect my wishes. Pulling my hand away quickly, I dust off any dirt or leaves. He leads us back inside to have some pizza and a much-needed distraction.
Eli puts Maddie down in the highchair and goes to grab some plates.
“Now, if I recall correctly, you like nasty pineapple on your pizza.” I burst out laughing because I wasn’t expecting him to, one, remember my love of pineapple on pizza and, two, go from sexually charged to, well, that.
“Yes, I LOVE pineapple on pizza.”
“You’re gorgeous, but that little tidbit makes me question your sanity a little bit. Pineapple on pizza is such an abomination.” He shivers in disgust as he sets the plates down. I sit beside Maddie and grab some napkins from the middle of the table.
“Well then, why did you buy it?” My smile is so big my cheeks hurt.
“If I recall, you pouted about it for two whole days when Paige wouldn’t stop making fun of you for liking it and refusing to buy you any pizza with the ‘fruit of the devil.’ I couldn’t stop laughing at that for hours. But I didn’t want to be the reason why you were going to pout, so you get your own Pineapple pizza so it doesn’t contaminate the rest of the pizzas. Don’t want any of that touching my meat lover’s.”
“You are missing out! The sweetness compliments the salty taste of the meat.” Eli sits on the other side of Maddie and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“What about you, Princess? Do you want pineapple on your pizza?”
“YAH!” Maddie shouts, clapping her hands in excitement. Eli looks over at me, raising an eyebrow.
