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Zander’s eyes squeezed shut, his shoulders slumped, and he looked objectively depressed. “I did what I thought I had to,” he whispered. The next time those eyes opened, they saw that I’d stepped closer, that only one foot—a mere twelve inches—separated us now.
“I’m not stupid,” I whispered. “I know you did what you had to. I know it was the only choice, short of either running or killing Miguel yourself—the first of which my pride would never have agreed to, and the second of which you wouldn’t have made it out alive. So I get it, Zander, I do, but I also have the right to feel pissed off and betrayed.”
His head bent. It almost looked as though he was praying. “I’m not trying to tell you what to feel. I just… when I thought you were really kidnapped, I went crazy. I literally lost my mind. I need to be a part of your life, Giselle. I—I don’t think I can stay away.”
I said nothing to that, waiting to hear more. Because there had to be more. There just had to be.
Zander’s emerald eyes lifted. “I meant everything I said. Nothing was a lie, Giselle. Nothing. I—” He started to reach for me, a hand extending toward my arm, but within seconds that arm fell back to his side. “—I pick you. I’ve always picked you, it just took me way too long to realize it. I don’t give a shit about Miguel or what he wants. I just want you.”
And then, before I could respond, Zander did something I wasn’t expecting: he dropped to his knees before me. The man actually knelt before me like I was his god, his savior, the all-powerful being that could make everything right in his universe.
“I need you,” he pleaded, the earnestness on his features plain. “I need you like I need air to breathe, Giselle. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anything else in my life. Without you, I have nothing. I am nothing.”
This time, when Zander reached for a hand of mine, he did not pull back at the last second. This time his fingers slowly curled around mine, and I let him have my hand, inwardly knowing he wasn’t quite done yet.
“I’m sorry,” he went on. “I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you. If you forgive me, give me a second chance, I swear on my life I will never hurt you again. I will keep you safe. I’d gladly give my life for yours. I’d do anything for you.”
As much as I was hurt by the truth of what he did, I also couldn’t deny the way my heart flipped in my chest when I listened to him say all that, how parts of me warmed with a familiar longing.
How could I gaze down at this man, literally have him on his knees, and continue to hold a grudge? And yet…
I pulled my hand out of his grip as I said, “I am no god, Zander. I do not forgive, and I certainly will not forget.” I watched as his eyes closed, as a crestfallen expression took hold of his face, before I did what I did next.
I dropped to my knees, our kneecaps touching, and Zander was slow to look at me, hope flickering. “But I understand, and I’ve come to the realization that I need you, too. I used to think you were annoying, infuriating, and you tended to piss me off a lot with your jealousy and possessiveness—”
Zander made a face at me, but I kept going, “But none of that changes the fact that I need you. Everything is a mess right now, and I’ve missed having you by my side, making snide comments about whatever man you’re currently jealous of.”
“Hey,” he murmured, “I might be jealous and possessive sometimes, but never snide.” He said it so seriously too, like he truly believed it.
Neither of us could keep up the seriousness of his comment for long, though. We both laughed, chuckling softly at how ridiculous it all was—and it was. It was absolutely, one hundred percent ridiculous… but that’s what I’d come to expect from Zander. It’s what I needed from him.
“I just missed you,” I whispered, bringing the hand that he’d previously held onto to his face and cupping his cheek. A tender caress he leaned into, as if he’d been waiting for it for eons. “I missed everything about you.”
The breath he let out was one heavy lungful, and he nuzzled into my hand a bit before saying, “I missed you too, Giselle. So damned much.” His eyelids cracked open, and he pulled himself away from my hand. I thought maybe he was going to say more, but as it turned out, what he had left to say was best said without words.
He grabbed me by the back of the head and pulled me in to him, crashed his lips upon mine like I was the epitome of everything he desired, everything he desperately needed. His mouth found mine like it was always meant to, a man coming home to the woman he loved more than life itself.
I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t deny him. The absolute last thing I could do was push him away. His lips on mine, the gentle tug of war between us, the warmth blossoming in my gut from our embrace; I’d missed it so much. More than I knew.
Maybe because, out of everyone, I’d loved Zander the most. Hell, I loved him before I knew I was capable of loving someone else. I think this thing between us had been building for years, and it only came to a precipice because we’d moved to Cypress and everything had changed.
It would be all too easy for me to lose myself in that kiss, to let it go on and on forever. Way too easy for me to get up and pull him over to the bed, where we could get reacquainted with each other’s bodies.
But I had lots of company over right now, so that’d be kind of rude. Plus, after everything, I think it might be better if Zander and I took it slow.
So, instead of losing myself completely in Zander and his lips, I pulled away and asked, “You want to come to a wedding?”
His brown brows furrowed. “A wedding? Who—”
“Mine.” The look Zander gave me after that made me laugh. “Okay, okay, not really. Miguel and Gianna’s.”
“Miguel and Gianna are getting married?” Zander was apparently very out of the loop, which made sense, given how he’d ejected himself from it all when I went missing.It also told me Miguel did most of the wedding planning outside his bugged office.
“You’ve missed a lot.” I got to my feet, watching as Zander stood up with me. “Let’s catch you up.” I slipped my hand into his and dragged him from the room, and we rejoined the others in the dining area.
Shay’s half of the table had their backs to me, so Cade, Luca, and Damian all saw me bring Zander back in, hand-in-hand. I didn’t flinch under their heavy gazes, nor did I act like there was anything to be embarrassed of.
There wasn’t.
