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He shakes his head and pushes me against the cold tiles. I try to cover myself but he grabs my hands and presses them against the wet wall.
“Why did you laugh? Don’t like what you see?” he bites out, his face an inch away from mine, while my nipples tease his chest and pleasure shoots down to my toes.
“I wasn’t—” But he cuts me off by pressing his leg against mine, so I have to open them.
“Better get used to it, it’s the only one you’re getting the next few weeks.”
I shiver again and he raises the corner of his mouth in a snarl and drags his eyes slowly from my face down my body and up again. His expression doesn’t change, and I wonder what I’m doing in this overly expensive apartment. I mean, we made a deal, what is going to happen after our deal is over? I’d be fucked in more ways than one, I made my own bed, so now I have to lie in it.
I repeat, “You can go now.” I shiver again, while my nipples press against his smooth skin.
He raises a brow before licking his lips. “I knew you were hiding curves under those clothes, but I was hoping for bigger breasts,” he deadpans, holding his head a little to the side as he studies me.
My turn to get angry, while I struggle to get my hands free from his.
“Don’t even think about kneeing me in the balls again,” he says, swearing in Korean, while the corner of his mouth twitches.
“You deserved it,” I counter.
He raises one brow in return. “Do I need to remind you of the deal we made?”
I cross my arms in front of me and his gaze locks in on my breasts. He tries to hide a smile behind his fist, but I see it anyway.
“Eyes up here, asshole,” I say through my teeth.
“Why?” he asks, not taking his eyes off my boobs. “I won this fair and square, remember?” One hand lands next to my head, boxing me in. He looks way too comfortable naked, while I’m a mess.
The spray hits his hair, and those dark locks run in streaks down his face. “How did you get that?” I ask.
He frowns. “Get what?”
“Your scar.” I reach out with my finger, but he pulls his head back.
“None of your business,” he grumbles, the anger radiating from his body, his broad shoulders moving up and down with every deep breath he takes.
“Okay.” I want to say more but keep my big mouth shut. “Can you go now?” I ask, motioning to the door.
“Why? We made a deal, remember?” he says, taking another step closer until my back is against the wall again. Luckily, steam fills the cabin, and I’m not so cold anymore. Well, a little, the blank stare in his dark eyes fucks me up. He takes another step closer, and I push my hands against his big chest which was covering my breasts. Big mistake, huge. The moment I touch his skin, I feel like I’m about to faint or come.
He glares at my outstretched hands, like no one has ever touched him like this before. His jaw moves like he’s grinding his teeth together. The guy is pretty with his long hair and dark eyes. His full lips part, and I like the angry looking scar running across his face. He has so many scars on his body, and are those cigarette marks lining the better part of his arm? What the hell happened to him? My eyes flash to his and they turn to little slits, like he’s daring me to say anything about them, but I don’t.
I feel his heart start to race, and the way he grinds his knuckles into the wall makes me hesitate for a second about the not hurting me part. He is this big bad mafia guy who probably kills people for a living, or fun, depending on his grumpy mood. Why does this feel intimate somehow, like he hasn’t done this before? I run my eyes down to his body and try to hold back the gasp spilling out anyway. Holy fuck, the man is covered in scars, some run deeper than others. There is barely a part of skin without marks.
“I… you,” I begin, and before I register what’s happening, he grabs my wrists. Instead of pulling my hands away, he holds them against his chest like he’s fighting with himself. Waging some inner war of me touching him. He closes his eyes for a second, and I see him biting on his bottom lip.
“Can you stay like this?” he rasps, his thumb softly brushing in circles over my skin.
I nod, not knowing what to do. I’m scared but I also don’t want to take a step back or let him go. What happened to this man that made him like this? All hard edges and deep scars. I bet living the way he does is hard. I have no idea why this seems different. This moment feels different. It feels like he needs whatever this is between us. Should I give it to him? My apartment, I keep repeating in my head. I need to keep thinking about my apartment. Why does this feel like more than an apartment? I take a deep breath; my head is a mess. This is only a transaction, nothing more.
Without warning, he leans forward and presses his forehead against mine. “You have no idea what I want to do to you,” he says, his dark eyes meeting mine. “How hard I want to make you scream. How bad I want to hurt you, all the ways I want you to hurt me.”
“What do you mean?” I croak out. No, get it together you are a strong, somewhat independent woman, but there is also a part of me who recognizes the hurt in his eyes he tries to hide.
I pretend I don’t feel his reaction to me, pressing painfully against my stomach. I have the urge to lean forward and feel more. He starts to shake a little while I push my palms against his chest. Pinching his eyes shut, his breathing comes out in hard pants. I can feel his breath against my skin. He opens his eyes and turns his head sideways, staring deep into mine before sweeping his lips across my cheek, stopping shy of my mouth. His eyes cut through mine, and I have trouble breathing.
“What is happening?” I whisper his real name. It’s like a switch gets turned. The cold hard stare is back in his glare, like he wants to murder me for touching him.
He lets go of me, and the hard, vacant look never leaves his gaze. He grinds his molars and keeps staring at me, freaking me the fuck out.
