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Just a few moments later and the room was cleared. Elliot sat back down with a sigh. His head gave an uncomfortable throb just as Mr. Collins gave another of those odd little bows and began.
“Believe me, my dear cousin,” he said. “That your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness, but allow me to assure you, that I have your respected mother’s permission for this address.” He gave what he clearly thought was an affectionate smile, but Elliot could not help but note that Mr. Collins had missed a patch of hair when shaving this morning and it was so oddly placed beneath his left nostril that Elliot had to look away lest he give in to the desire to point it out.
“You can hardly doubt the reason for my request,” Mr. Collins continued. “And whilst I accept that your natural omega modesty may lead you to dissemble, my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life.”
Hearing it out loud made it so much worse than Elliot had expected, and he had no choice but to look back at Mr. Collins. On doing so he noticed another stray patch of hair on the clergyman’s left cheek. Abruptly, he found himself considering how well-groomed Darcy always was and cursed himself for the comparison.
“But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject,” Mr. Collins continued. “Perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for seeking a marriage and a mate, and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a husband, as I certainly did.”
The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, only added to the absurdity of it all and Elliot was suddenly near to laughter, though whether in humour or despair he was not sure. Regardless, he had to use the short pause Mr. Collins allowed to gather his composure.
“My reasons for mating are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman to set the example of matrimony in his parish,” Mr. Collins continued. “Secondly, that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness. And thirdly, which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion—unasked too!—on this subject, and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford that she became quite insistent. Mr. Collins, you must find a mate, she said. Choose properly, for my sake, and for your own, let them be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way, and who else should that be but an omega. This is my advice. Find them as soon as you can, bring them to Hunsford, and I will visit them.”
“Why an omega?” Elliot asked.
“Because you are so very accommodating,” Mr. Collins said as if that were so very obvious. “And it is your duty to add to the happiness of any beta or alpha who would wish to mate with you.”
“Our duty,” Elliot said slowly.
“Indeed.” Mr. Collins favoured him with another smile. “I should add, my fair cousin, the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh is among many of the advantages our union can offer. You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe, and your wit and vivacity, I think, will be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her alpha rank will inevitably excite.” He paused. “I am also to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father and so choosing a husband from his many sons is both sensible and comforting.”
Another pause and Elliot reflected that Mr. Collins was not wrong about that. It was absolutely the correct course of action for the heir to mate with one of them and Mr. Collins should be applauded for the properness of his actions.
“And now nothing remains but for me to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection,” he concluded. “And be sure, dear cousin, that from here forth I will make no mention of your lack of fortune or any of the other disadvantages you will bring to this partnership.”
And his disadvantages were numerous, Elliot knew that. An omega with an insignificant dowry, along with a family who were…challenging at best. Elliot shivered, wondering suddenly what Darcy thought of those disadvantages. He had seen them on display in all their glory, had he not!
You will know me better in the future.
Was that still Darcy’s intention?
What did it mean?
Why had he said it?
Elliot held up a hand as Mr. Collins began to speak again. Yes, it was the right thing to do, this marriage, but Elliot knew without a doubt that he could not be the one to do it. He was willing to make sacrifices for his family, he always had been, but this was simply a sacrifice too far. If only Mr. Collins had asked Marc or even Christian! Either of them might have accepted, but now that he had asked one, he could not ask another!
“You are too hasty, sir,” he finally said, taking a deep breath as he did so. “You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without further loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me. I am very sensible of the honour of your proposal, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than to decline it.”
“I understand that it is usual with omegas to reject the addresses of those whom they secretly mean to accept, when they first apply for their favour,” replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, completed unperturbed by Elliot’s response. “And that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said and shall hope to lead you to the altar before long.”
“I do assure you,” Elliot said, “I would not risk my happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal.”
“I—”
“You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last man in the world who could make you so,” Elliot added quickly. “Indeed, were your friend Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the situation!”
“I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you,” Mr. Collins replied gravely. “And you may be certain when I have the honour of seeing her again, I shall speak in the very highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other…amiable qualification.”
“Indeed, Mr. Collins, all praise of me will be unnecessary,” Elliot said. “I wish you very happy and very rich, and by refusing your hand, do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise.”
“Mr. Bennet?—”
Elliot held up a hand again. “In making me the offer, you have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regards to my family and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever it falls, without any self-reproach. This matter may be considered, therefore, as finally settled.”
Elliot stood up. Mr. Collins loomed over him as he did so. It was nothing like being loomed over by Darcy. Nothing about this whole situation was. Elliot swallowed against an uncomfortable lump in his throat as he imagined Darcy being the one stood in front of him saying these words…Darcy holding out his hand…Darcy pulling him into his arms…
With a shake of his head at so ridiculous a flight of fancy Elliot turned to leave because whatever Darcy had planned between them it could never be that!
