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Including me.
How was that possible?
“It was the least I could do and I’m certain you would have done the same for me.” It was impossible to drag my eyes away from him, still lost in how handsome he was, the hint of gray at his temples creating a distinguished look. I couldn’t help but wonder whether he was a good guy or a villain. While the bad boys were always more exciting in books, in real life they were dangerous predators, although terribly intriguing.
“I don’t know about that, princess. I just don’t know.”
I left the drink and grabbed his items of clothing, closing the bathroom door behind me after I walked out. The limited sun had already faded, twilight settling in. I hated the darkness, the eerie shadows created as night began to fall across the lake. I immediately headed to the kitchen, dropping his things on the table before closing and locking the windows and lowering the blinds. After locking the back door, I moved from room to room, closing every blind.
The thought of someone standing outside, watching me with binoculars or through the scope of a weapon kept the nightmares fueled. After I’d finished, I turned on Dillon’s nightlight, pulling the covers back before returning to the living room. We’d played hard all day, my little boy adoring the outdoors. Even though I stayed busy, writing to keep the demons away, I’d taken the day just to be with my beloved son.
As I gathered him into my arms, I was grateful I’d done so, the little man so tired I was able to cradle him in my arms without him waking up.
After I removed Dillon’s clothes and replaced them with his favorite pajamas, Max jumped on the bed with him as he always did, which allowed me to feel as if my son would be safe and sound all night.
Plus, I was grateful I’d have some time to figure out what to do with the sexy mystery man. I headed to my bedroom, opening drawer after drawer until I found my favorite oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants, although I wasn’t entirely certain the pants would fit him. After grabbing a couple of towels from the linen closet, I thought better of returning to the bathroom until I’d had another and better chance to search his jacket pockets. Maybe there was a clue as to who he was.
I took the time to pour myself a glass of wine, realizing that the rush of adrenaline that had kept me going was finally fading, my hand shaking as I brought the glass to my lips. I hated being so terrified of everything, being unable to live as any normal human being would. I could afford a larger home given what I made yet I was fearful of making any changes.
I’d lost myself while attempting to find the new me. Georgia wasn’t me, no matter if my picture was on my Virginia license. I no longer recognized the woman who stared back at me in the mirror any more than the man reflected to the stranger. I hadn’t seen my blonde hair in so long I wasn’t certain I’d like it any longer. Even my facial features appeared altered, although I hadn’t gone through plastic surgery. The mysterious stranger and I both had a haunted look, uncertain of more than just our identities.
I wasn’t living any longer, merely existing, trying my best to provide a decent and protected life for my son. Up until now, it had been easy. I hadn’t needed to send him off to school or even worry about him being invited to a friend’s birthday party or for a sleepover. That would all change soon enough and it also scared me to death. He’d eventually ask questions about his daddy, maybe even be angry when I refused to tell him.
God. A strange man had come into my life and I was mind fucking myself, something I’d always been good at. Maybe seeing someone else going through a similar circumstance, being unable to break free of chains holding back their mind made me want to experience more out of life.
You need to live. You need to break out of the prison you’re in.
That’s something Karen had told me even though she had no clue who I was. No one did. I was all alone, pretending to be something I wasn’t, doing everything I could to forget about my past. I’d almost broken down several times, contacting my parents, but had stopped myself at the last moment. The horrors and abuse remained, mental scars lingering in the back of my mind, the stupidity in allowing myself to care about the fuck a testament to my poor decision making. Live. Live. I needed to experience something other than drudgery.
What if this man had been brought into my life for a reason? Yeah, a deadly one. I was crazy for allowing him to stay in my house. I had to be out of my mind for finding him attractive. The filthy thoughts running through my head were ridiculous.
But they refused to stop.
I needed the touch of a man.
His heated kisses.
His hungry caresses.
His hard cock fucking me, enticing me to return to the land of the living.
“What are you doing?” I breathed, stumbling toward my wine, shaking like a leaf. The insanity of my dirty mind would rot my brain eventually. I laughed, the sound as close to demonic as I’d heard. For all I knew, he could be a killer, a true monster. As I lifted my head, staring at the shadowed hallway leading to the bathroom, the tingling sensations only increased. Wanting the man was so very wrong, but if my hardened nipples were any indication, my body planned on betraying me.
A harsh laugh escaped my lips, the sound so strangled I didn’t recognize it. I had my son to think about, my perfect little life with the glass enclosure something I’d fought hard to keep. I couldn’t jeopardize it for anything. Not one thing. Determined to put the thoughts behind me, I reached for my wine. Fantasies were fine for the dark romance stories I wrote. The brutal alpha male who took what he wanted was the kind of fantasy my readers ate up like cherry licorice.
They were not real.
There were no perfect men.
There were no knights in shining armor.
There were no rugged bikers determined to protect me.
And there certainly wasn’t such a thing as a happy ever after.
Not in my world. Who was I kidding? Not in anyone’s world.
I took a gulp then another, fighting the raging nerves and taboo needs. I was strong, much more than I’d given myself credit for. I’d provide assistance and kick the man out one way or the other. He was a big boy. He could fend for himself.
