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“Good. Same old.” Dropping his fork, he turned sideways, straddling the bench. He drew me closer to nestle in between his thighs.
Shit. Don’t touch me.
“I am leaving early tomorrow for Italy for two weeks.” He nuzzled my neck with his scruff, leaving behind goosebumps on its trail. “I have some work for Cosa Nostra,” he said quietly, the words almost lost on my skin.
Funny. This was the first time he actually gave me some kind of information. Guess I was getting more now that we were a done deal.
Leaving soft bite marks, he reached my ear and sucked on my earlobe. It must have had a direct route to my core because I felt a pulse beating madly down there. I just couldn’t allow him to wrap me around his thumb anymore. He used sex to get what he wanted all the time. Not this time, buddy. I jerked away and stood up on wobbling legs.
“I am tired. Jet leg and all….” I trailed off, watching his frowning face. I cleared my throat to get the rasp out. “I am off to bed.”
He grabbed hold of my hand before I could move away. “I am gone for two weeks, mia cara,” he impelled.
“I know.” I tried to shake his hand off.
His grip tightened. “I wish you would tell me what you are thinking in that pretty head of yours.”
“As if you do,” I snapped.
“What do you want to know? What I am thinking now? Huh? I am thinking I want to bury my dick deep inside you all night long before I can survive two weeks without you,” he murmured, eyes turning dark.
“Typical.” I shook his hand off. “Have a nice trip.” I hurried off but stopped and turned near the door to find him watching me, confusion and disappointment clear on his face.
“I do want to know something.” At his encouraging nod, I continued, “Do you know anything more about the case?” I pushed through, ignoring his darkening face. “I want to see if I can enrol for my studies.”
“You can enrol for your studies anytime. No one’s stopping you,” he said tightly.
“No.” I shook my head, adamant. “I can’t do two jobs. I am paid to look after Cora and…” I faltered. Unable to hold his gaze, I let mine drop to the floor. “This arrangement. I can’t do my studies with it as well.”
Uneasiness crawled into the room. Silence joined in. I swear I heard the clock ticking in his office. I peeked up to see him watching me, his lips in a tight line, a muscle ticking madly on his jaw.
I thought he might not answer. He turned back to the table and rubbed his eyes with his hands. With his shoulders slumped, he looked tired.
Well, so am I.
“Roberto is working on it,” he said in a low, tight voice just when I was going to move away. “We’ll know more when I am back.”
Nodding, I scurried off to our room, fighting back my tears. I couldn’t cry now and have him see how badly I had fallen for him. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, when he wasn’t around, I could let go.
Later on that night, I put on my best performance, pretending to be asleep when the bed dipped next to me. Subtly, I moved further away, but surprisingly, he didn’t drag me back to him like he did most nights. It truly was the end of our scam of a marriage.
The next day, I woke up to that feeling of emptiness. Someone had snuck in during the night and jerked my heart out, leaving me empty. Just when I thought I was finally over it, it was back, the feeling hitting me right in the gut, there, as if it had never really left me at all.
I knew he had left early. I had heard him move around and felt his soft kiss on my forehead. Had he known I had been awake the whole night, running our story on a reel, trying to find where it had gone wrong or if it had ever been right? Did he know when he softly closed the door to our room behind him, it had felt like he was closing the door to our life together?
He wouldn’t call. I knew that. I knew his routine now. If he was travelling for his banking work, he called. But if it was for “the family,” as they liked to call it, he never called.
The family. Seemed like everyone was part of his family. His mother, Rosa, Armando, Cora, of course, except for me. I was his to marry and to divorce at his will.
I couldn’t really blame him. He had promised nothing else. The only person to blame for the whole thing was me. I was the idiot who had brought in the feelings and fallen in love. He didn’t need emotion to have sex. I did, and that was the grave I had dug myself. Had he fucked that woman on my doorstep? His doorstep. Nothing was mine. He wasn’t mine. Rosa was not part of my family nor Armando, and, most importantly, Cora wasn’t mine. No matter how close I thought that sweet munchkin was to me, I had no right to her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
DIVYA
Iplayed with Cora and made meals with Rosa, all while I covertly went through everything in my mind. I replayed the slides of my life after I met Antonio. Step by step. But I couldn’t figure it out.
Why would he not tell me that the case was settled? Why would he not tell me he was arranging for our divorce? Was he scared, just like his mother, that I would ask for more? More money? Was it because of that stupid prenuptial? But I’ve seen many moods of his, and scared wasn’t one of them. I had a feeling nothing scared my husband much.
