AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She coughs, eyes wide. “When you’re in New York? Ben, what are you talking about?”
“I bought an apartment in New York!” Talk about an epic fucking miscalculation in that fifteen-minute window following Fatima’s celebratory announcement.
Except I can’t believe it was a mistake. Can’t accept that Lara doesn’t?—
“Ben!” she gasps, clutching the cooler handle like it’s the only thing holding her up.
And now I’m jealous of a convenience store cooler handle, because I want to be the one she leans on. I want to be the one she talks to. I want to be Lara’s one.
New. Low. Achieved.
“Fatima told me about your promotion, and …” Fuck it. “I didn’t want you to worry about having to find a roommate or temporary living arrangements falling through.”
“Y—you bought me an apartment? In New York? So—” Her slender, pretty neck works up and down. “—I wouldn’t worry?”
She’s emotional. And it’s making me emotional, stirring up all the shit in my chest that feels like it only exists when she’s in my life.
“I know how much having a home base means to you.” Jesus. I can feel the tips of my ears starting to burn. “So I got you one… I got us one… You one.”
Her breath is coming harder, faster. Because who does that? What’s wrong with me? God, she’s got to be thinking I’m a lot.
I start to scramble, “But it’s like, a good investment, so if you don’t like it or want it?—”
“Ben?”
“Yeah?”
Her eyes meet mine in a way that makes me hold my breath. “I love you.”
My breath gusts out. Relief. I nod. “I love you too, Elliot. I’ve loved you since we were eighteen years old.”
There’s a part of me that still can’t understand how she didn’t know it. Couldn’t feel it.
She smiles. “I’ve loved you since we were fifteen.”
Jesus. My heart feels like it’s about to pound right out of my chest.
“If I’d known. Elle, if I’d known, I would have—” I can’t even tell her all the ways our lives would have been different, the lengths I would have gone to hold on to her, to protect what we could have been. Fuck. The loss of those years we could have had together is too brutal to acknowledge.
“Yeah, me too,” she admits quietly, hitting me with a bittersweet pang.
And just like that, we’re on the same page again. It’s her and me… and Zamboni offering up an enthusiastic wheezy bark at something a couple aisles over.
This is all I want. Everything I need.
I heave a breath, leaning my shoulder against the door. “Why didn’t you tell me about the promotion?”
It’s been killing me.
“I was going to tell you. I was just trying to figure out how to do it without making you feel like I was forcing something in our relationship, or pressuring you. I didn’t want you to feel obligated.”
I don’t get it. “Pressure me to what, do the long-distance thing? Lara, I don’t think you?—”
“Because I’m not taking it. There’s a call set up tomorrow, and I’m going to tell them no.”
At first, the words don’t compute. I can’t understand what she’s saying. And then my heart is pounding with a new urgency, because this is not okay.
“Why the fuck not? This is what you’ve been working toward since high school. You are amazing at your job. This promotion is everything you wanted.”
