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“Aubrey, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry this conversation gave you that panic attack. All you did inside was repeat my words back to me, and they made me realize how much I really hurt you, so I’m really fucking sorry. I will forever regret what I said and how I acted. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
I stared at him, and I think in that moment, I saw the Lincoln I was falling in love with. I saw the man who woke my soul, but we can’t be that again. If we tried this again and broke up, it could be catastrophic…It almost was this time honestly.
I choked back tears. “I hope we get there too, but right now I think we need space to get over this. If we are fighting like this and hurting each other already I don’t want to see what will happen long term. We can’t keep hurting each other, and we can’t take the chance of hurting Pops and Liza. If you want me to leave sooner, I will.”
He stood me up and took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “I don’t need space to get over you because I don’t plan to. You were my chance at happiness, and I blew it. I don’t want to find this with anyone else.” He rubbed his thumb over my cheekbone, wiping some of my tears away.
“Please stay. You deserve to stay because this is your home too; they are your family now. Also, the kids doing the play love you. They deserve the best person to help them while we have her.”
He tried to smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I’ll be the one loving you from afar. I’ll be the one you can call for anything, and I’ll be there. I’ll be the one who updates you on Pops’ crazy endeavors.” We both chuckled a little. “I’ll be your pen pal, your confidant, whatever you need me to be, and most of all, I’ll keep the promise we made before we even started all of this.”
I thought back to our conversation that night before we had sex.
“Promise we will always be friends first.”
“Lastly, Promise me that we will keep in touch no matter what. I want you in my life no matter what happens between us.”
“I intend to keep those promises because I fully believe you are meant to be mine. This is the right person, the wrong time situation, and our chance will come when we have more time to figure this out. I will get help. I will prove I can be the man for you. It's not fair to drag you along while I deal with my healing so I will do my best to give you space.” He placed something small in my hand. I opened it, and I found a necklace with his nickname for me on it.
“Lincoln,” I whispered.
“I know. It was for Valentine’s Day. I figured you should have it either way.”
I was losing the battle with my tears again. “I’m sorry, Lincoln.”
We were both quiet, just staring at each other. I had to break the silence… I hated this awkward feeling around him.
“I hope you are right about the right person, wrong time thing,” I whispered.
He moved my face toward his. “Me too, baby.” He kissed me one more time.
The final kiss.
The best kiss.
I went inside the house and started writing. Something Lincoln said gave me an idea for a song. I needed to start it now while it was fresh. Brie was still busy chatting with Liza, so I took some time to write and digest what had just happened.
About an hour had gone by, and I was well into writing the lyrics…it was like they were flowing out of me.
I heard a knock at the door. "You okay, Sweetie?"
It was Pops.
“Come in.”
He opened the door; I smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just had an idea for a song; I figured I'd start while the idea was there."
"Can I hear what you've got?" he asked.
"Of course. Come on in and have a seat."
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Aubrey
Brie and I got to the bookstore as soon as it opened. We spent a while in there buying entirely too many books. After Dan got sick of us, we went around town so I could show her everything else.
