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“Is it Pops you’re worried about or Charlotte?” Adam said, stopping to look right at him.
Austin shrugged. “It’s both.”
“Well, figure out what ya gonna do about it then, because I need your head in the game.” Adam pushed away from the fence and focused on getting Turbo ready.
Austin tried to clear his mind as he groomed Buckley and then warmed him up. Yet every time, something pulled him out of his normal visualization routine, either Charlotte’s smile or the look of sadness she had as she told them goodbye after their celebratory dinner…as if that was the final goodbye. He couldn’t shake that from his mind.
If Charlotte wasn’t pulling him out, worry for Pops did.
The inability to focus unsettled him. Throughout his warm-up routine, the uneasy sensation stuck with him and continued even after they were called up for the event. He could still feel the lack of focus in the box while sitting in the saddle with Buckley dancing under him. Adam glared at him as if he could see Austin wasn’t in the game as he had told him to be. His brother’s lips mouthed, “Focus.” Austin drew in a deep breath, set his seat, focusing on the scent of dust and horse, and gave a slight nod.
The chute man released the steer, and Buckley raced after it. Austin drew his rope quickly, too quickly, and the movement slowed Buckley down just as the steer broke to the left. All it took was a half-second mistake to blow an event. The moment Austin released the rope, he knew they were already behind. He knew he had just cost them the win for Laramie.
Even though his rope caught and he pulled the steer into position as Adam looped his hind legs smoothly, the damage had already been done. He saw it in Adam’s expression as well as they faced each other, holding the steer immobile until the flag waved.
As Austin robotically pushed the steer back to the holding pen, the announcer called the time, verifying his mistake. Definitely not under four. It was barely under five. Still, a good score, and at a lesser rodeo, might even win them first place…but not Laramie. There already were two teams ahead of them with better times.
Adam rode stiffly, purposefully not looking toward him. The crowd still cheered, but he heard the difference. It didn’t hold the frantic excitement it had at the last rodeo when they broke four seconds. It didn’t even hold the excitement of a winning spot. The crowd knew that as well as they did. They lost the shot to add another qualifier to Nationals…at least at this event.
Guilt tore through Austin, knowing it was because of his lack of focus, knowing that his head not being in the game had cost them this win. He gave Adam space in the cool down pen, but as they came together to meet Pops, who looked more like the fence was holding him up rather than him relaxing on it, Austin turned to Adam.
“We’ll get it next time, brother.”
Adam continued to look straight ahead, his mouth set in a thin line.
“Well, boys,” Pops said. “You win some, you lose some. You still have several more chances to win the seat you need at the Nationals.”
“If he doesn’t mess those up, too,” Adam muttered.
“Adam.” Pops’ stern voice brought Adam to look at him. “How long have we been at this? We don’t hammer each other for our mistakes. We learn from them and support one another.”
Adam sat on his horse, his fist clenched upon his thigh. “Yes, sir,” he said.
“He’s right,” Austin said with a gulp. “It was my mistake.”
“And we’re all human, son. We all make mistakes,” Pops said. “You’ll learn from it. You always do.”
“Unless you’re just trying to lose Nationals.” Adam spun Turbo to face him. “Is that what this is about?”
Austin’s mouth fell open. “Of course not. That’s been my dream since I was a kid back in school.”
“Are you sure it’s still your dream because your focus says differently?” Adam challenged him, his glare holding him in place.
Austin heard Pops start to speak but held up his hand, keeping his eyes trained on his brother. “You’re right, I wasn’t on my game today, but this is important to me. I’ll learn from this, and at the next event, I’ll be on it. I’m not giving up on my dream.”
Adam’s mouth twisted, and his eyes gleamed. He leaned forward and in a voice that sounded almost deadly, he said, “You forget, brother, it’s not just your dream. It’s mine, too.” He spun Turbo away, heading at a fast walk toward the stables.
Austin watched after him, his chest heavy and tight. It wasn’t until his brother had disappeared that he turned back to Pops, noting the droop of his shoulders and lines around his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pops. I let everyone down today.”
Pops shook his head. “Son, you’re too hard on yourself. You always have been.” He motioned him to get down, so Austin slid off Buckley, holding on to his reins, and came to the fence with Pops. “I know you didn’t understand after graduation when I said you needed to make a choice. Focus is hard, son. Women are distracting.” Pops smiled. “Yet,” he said with a sigh, “they’re also wonderful and something that a man needs. Maybe,” he met his eyes with a softness unlike him, “I led you wrong.”
Austin shook his head. “Nah, Pops. You never lead me wrong.”
Pops chuckled. “Oh, if only your twelve-year-old self could hear you now.” He shook his head. “You know, your Pops is human, too, son. More than I’d like to admit.” He stepped back from the fence, his shoulders slumping and face wincing as if it took quite an effort. “Speaking of that, I think I’ll head back to the trailer. Don’t beat yourself up, Austin. Adam will get over it, and you’ll prove to him at the next event that you’ll be there for him when it counts. That’s the only reason he’s upset, you know. He doesn’t want you to give up on him.” Pops turned and started walking toward the parking lot.
“Thanks, Pops.” Austin gulped as Pops turned back with a smile that showed just how strained he was. “You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Of course, son. Almost as much as I love you.” Pops’ eyes glistened, and then he turned back on his course.
