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Pops shrugged. “You know how it is. You get used to being tough.”
Footsteps came down the hall. “Did I hear the front door?” Mama asked as she came into the room, and her face contorted in a part smile, part grief as she looked at her boys. “You made it.”
Austin rose just as Adam did, and they took turns giving Mama hugs.
She patted their cheeks and wiped her eyes. “You boys are so sweet to come all the way here.”
“How could we not?” Austin asked, finding his seat again. “You guys shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”
“We aren’t alone,” Pops said, then smiled at Mama. “We have each other.”
“You must be hungry,” Mama said. “I’ll get something ready quickly so you can snack while I make dinner.”
“I’m starving.” Adam rubbed his growling belly. “Big bro wouldn’t let me stop to get some food on the way.”
“Well, come on then. I’ll make you a sandwich before I start dinner.” Mama took Adam into the kitchen, leaving Austin and Pops alone.
“You didn’t need to rush here like this, son,” Pops said, reading his eyes.
Austin shrugged. “You just never know, Pops. I couldn’t…I mean, I didn’t want…” to be too late… but he couldn’t say it out loud.
Pops leaned forward and patted Austin’s leg. “Hey, every cancer is different, okay? It’s not gonna be like it was before…with your dad…”
Austin swallowed. “You are my dad,” he said, ignoring that his throat felt like it was the size of a baseball.
Pops squeezed his leg. “Hey, you’ve got to have faith, son. God protects His own.”
Austin folded his hands together as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Faith didn’t save my first dad. How am I supposed to trust Him with you?”
Pops froze and slowly drew his hand back. He steepled his fingers below his chin as his brow furrowed. Austin knew his Pops was thinking and gave him space to do so. He had pondered the question so much on his way there, that the words had shot out of his mouth before he meant them to…in fact, he hadn’t meant to share that fear with him at all.
“You know,” Pops finally said, “the Lord works in mysterious ways. I’m sorry you and your mom and brother went through what you did with your first dad. It was awful, but as awful as it was, I can’t say God didn’t make the best of it. I know it’s selfish of me, but if it wasn’t for your first dad’s sacrifice…I wouldn’t have had the privilege of having two sons, not to mention a loving, forgiving, wonderful wife.”
Austin watched him, reading him. Had he ever thought about it that way? That if he hadn’t lost his first dad, he would have never met Pops or learned how to rope or rodeo. His first dad enjoyed living in town. He worked at the bank, and as far as he knew, never rode a horse in his life. What would Austin have become then?
“Hey, now,” Pops called him back to the present. “It’s no good going to the what-ifs, you know. Life is what it is. We just have to trust that God will always watch over us.”
Austin shook his head. As grateful as he was for Pops, it wasn’t a simple transition for him to shift his perception. After losing his first dad, Austin had become serious and angry. He stepped up, as much as a little guy could, and when Pops came into the picture, it riled everything up and made him grieve for his dad all over again. It had taken a lot of perseverance from Pops to get Austin to trust him.
Was it trust…or was it more like getting past the fear of losing someone else?
The tightness in his chest made Austin get up with a need to move. “What do the doctors say?” He watched Pops while pacing the living room.
“Well, they think it originated in the lungs…but they aren’t sure. It’s spread…that’s why the pain. It’s on my ribs.”
Austin drew in a deep breath against the sharpness of the news. “Anywhere else?”
“Yeah,” Pops said, narrowing his eyes. “They’ll get it, son. God won’t let this cowboy go down like that.”
The determination in his stepfather’s eyes had Austin hoping. He didn’t remember that fire for life in his first dad’s eyes…but he had just been a kid. He couldn’t remember much of it all…except the scent of the hospital, his dad getting super sick real quick, and then he was gone…
“When do you start treatments?” Austin paused, meeting his stepfather’s eyes.
“Directed radiation starts in three days. They’re already giving me calcium shots to strengthen my bones.” He pushed out of the recliner and stood before Austin. “Have faith, son. God is in charge.” Pops drew Austin into a squeezing hug. “Now, come on, you’ve got to see what I’ve been working on.”
“Working? Shouldn’t you be resting?” Austin said, following him.
Pops grunted. “If I don’t work, then how will I keep my strength up? Stop fussing at me like a mother hen, son, and come see what I’ve been doing.”
