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Jasmine
YOU WON’T SURVIVE THIS journey if you keep this up. The dark-eyed girl’s rebuke echoed inside my mind as I ducked to hide behind the low stone wall circling the manor. Sneaking away at night to save a monster is stupid.
I can’t let it die,I replied.
Your friends decided to leave it.
I knew. It had been a shocking experience to realize they would not do anything about the monster. After the innkeeper had delivered our food, my friends ate in silence as though they knew if they spoke, I would bring up the subject of the monster again. In vain, I waited for them to discuss ways to save the monster, but no one said anything.
After we finished our food, Dearen and Brigid went to sleep quickly. The two of them were the most seasoned soldiers among us and knew we needed to rest as much as possible before entering the in-between realms.
When Fiona went out of the room, claiming she would ask for clean water to wash our faces before bed, Kieran met my gaze. He knew I would bring up the subject again.
“We cannot force the villagers to release the monster,” he said before I could open my mouth. “And we can’t carry around a monster with us on this journey. What we are going to do is important. We can’t let anything get in the way of that.”
“Forsake that fae for the greater good?” I asked.
“I will talk with the townsfolk in the morning,” he replied. “I might be able to persuade them to send the monster to Qam.”
I gave him a doubtful look that he ignored. I knew he was just trying to comfort me, but I could not let him.
“You really care, don’t you?” He said after a long pause.
“Of course I do,” I replied. “That monster, whoever he or she was, did not do anything to deserve this. The queen decided to turn fae into monsters, and that was it. They had no choice in the matter.”
“And you don’t think I care?” He asked.
Doubt rose in me at once. Everything I knew about Kieran told me that he, too, cared about others. He had risked his life to uncover the secret behind the trials, and he had risked his life when he tried to protect me against those who blamed me for the ball attack. He didn’t have to do any of that, yet, as I took a moment to search within my soul, I realized that I did not think he would do anything about the monster we had helped catch tonight.
“I know you care,” I told him. “But you are a prince. You were raised to be a leader; sometimes, leaders have to choose between the good of the realm against the good of one.”
“You think—“
“When you choose to fight the Queen of Light,” I interrupted him. “You also choose to send soldiers into battle, knowing they might die.”
“Are you saying the Unseelie should stay back and let her do whatever she wants?” Kieran asked angrily.
“No,” I said, taking a step to get closer. “I’m saying you are trained to make these choices. You know that letting the monster go might be dangerous for this town. And comparing the two outcomes, it seems less risky to side with the town.”
Kieran paused. “It is.”
My heart sank, but I did not let it show.
“But you don’t think so,” Kieran said.
There was no blame in his tone.
“I don’t,” I replied. “I think we have to do our best to save everyone. But what is the point of trying to be good if we sacrifice innocents to keep the realm safe?”
“This is war,” Kieran said. “That’s how it always works.”
“I know,” I told him. “But I’m glad that I’m not a leader. I get to make my decisions based on my...”
“Heart...” He finished my sentence.
I was going to say gut, but that worked too.
We stared at each other for what felt like a second.
