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“Okay,” I thought out loud. “Then, I shall ask Padraig to keep this a secret. Tell him I’m too embarrassed about it... Mention that it is very embarrassing and I do not want him to talk to Lugh about it.”
Orla raised her eyebrows. “Do you always assume your subjects are idiots?”
Her question took me off guard.
“Of course, not,” I replied. “What do you suggest I do?”
She pondered the question for a moment. As she did, she paced the room quietly. When she finally stopped and met my gaze, I knew she had found a solution.
“Come out of the room crying,” Orla said. “You play with emotions well. Make sure Padraig feels your pain. Tell him you saw a love letter from a woman at his desk. You were convinced he’s in love with someone else and is only marrying you for political reasons. You couldn’t give him the gift after seeing the letter. Then beg Padraig to forget about tonight because you were humiliated.”
I stared at Orla.
“That is brilliant,” I said.
She gave me an amused look as the knock on the door interrupted our conversation.
“Yes?” I raised my voice as Orla went to hide in the other room. It was late at night, so it would not look good if my maid was still inside my room with me.
Padraig appeared on the other side of the door.
“Princess?” he asked. “Are you ready to leave?”
I nodded. I grabbed the gift and tried to appear nervous but eager as I followed him outside.
Padraig did not seem very chatty and I did not blame him. He could get into great trouble if we were caught. And similarly, being silent suited my plan better than the alternative. I hoped that Padraig would think I was too nervous about confessing my attraction to Lugh and would not think anything of it.
We reached the King’s Tower without uttering a single word. We did not run into anyone either.
Lugh was still on the hunting trip, but it was odd seeing the tower unguarded at this time of night.
“Did you send the guards away?” I asked Padraig, as we stopped at the entrance to the tower.
He nodded. I did not want Padraig to come with me, so when he made a move to follow me, I turned around to speak.
“Can I go alone?” I asked.
His eyes widened with surprise.
“I do trust you,” I said, hoping that would make him want to return that trust. “But what I am about to do is utterly humiliating... I do not want anyone to know where I leave the letter, begging Lugh to love me.”
I said that last part with a shaking voice. I wasn’t pretending. It was a genuine reaction to uttering Lugh’s name in the same sentence with the concept of love.
Padraig must have thought it genuine too. He nodded and turned away from the stairs to keep watch as I entered the tower.
Although Lugh had taken most of his closest advisors and court fae with him on the hunting trip, there could be some left behind. I had to be very silent as I used the cloak of the night to walk straight to the room that had been my father’s once. I knew Lady Queill wasn’t in the castle tonight. Orla had assured me she was not, but if anyone else in Lugh’s court saw me, I would still be in trouble.
Luckily, I had ample practice sneaking around these halls.
The hallways were dark. That was unusual, but Lugh wasn’t here and the King’s Tower was mostly empty. According to Orla, Lugh had insisted on taking all the servants on the hunting trip with him. Even while hunting, he thought he needed the amenities accorded to the king at the palace. Lugh’s choices were wildly different from my father’s, and I normally would be inclined to judge him for them, but they suited me now.
I reached the King’s room and entered. I paused at the threshold despite myself.
For a moment, the different scents that had taken over Father’s chamber made me feel like I was in the wrong place.
Father enjoyed reading and writing, which meant his room would always smell like ink and paper. Sometimes, the smell of burnt paper would be added to that, and in those days, I would know that Father had burned some secret information that had been brought to him.
But Lugh was a different man. Even before my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I was able to see the change in decoration, I could tell that a completely different man now occupied my father’s quarters.
