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I nod, stroking her hair. “Trust me, I will.”
chapter 7
what lurks in velvet shadows
esmeralda
The five days until my date with Teizel felt like pure torture. Our kiss would invade my thoughts at the most inopportune of moments, and I’d start getting wet and needy. I’ve never pleasured myself this much in a week, yet thoughts of him still leave me burning.
I smooth my hands over the skirt of the dress I’m wearing. Black silk that clings to my body to right above my knees, with a high neckline but a low back. It’s a bit outside my comfort zone, sexier than anything I usually wear, but with Teizel by my side, I feel like I can pull it off.
“Hair up or down?” I ask Sara, pulling my waves in a high pony with my fingers to show off the look.
Sara taps a finger on her lips. “Up, I think.”
I nod and grab a scrunchy, tying my hair in a loose ponytail. “Yes?”
She makes me spin and gives me a thumbs up. At what point of my life did a woman in her late-fifties become my only friend and fashion confidante? I try not to dwell much on it. Instead, I sit cross-legged on the floor, ignoring how my dress rides up my thighs, and work on my make-up. I don’t wear much of it on a daily basis — as much as I’d love to paint my lips a dark cherry red, or try a smokier look, it’s something else that makes me stand out in a way I’m not interested in doing. But for the occasion, I add eyeliner to my usual blush and mascara look.
I fixate on meticulously applying each product, desperate to distract from the butterfly riot in my stomach. Teizel’s kiss, the way it rearranged my insides, how the feeling of his body against mine got me so close to the edge…
I press my hands to my cheeks to try and stop the flush.
Sara comes over to where I’m sitting, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Nervous?”
I let out a jittery laugh. “I guess you could say that.” It’s not just nerves, though. It’s anticipation.
You might destroy me.
But what a way to go that would be.
I shiver at his words, can’t help but sense the fundamental truth in them. There’s something inherently dangerous in Teizel, something that feels out of place. Dark, unsettling. Alluring. Like a moth to the flame, I find myself unable to pull away from it, as if following his call will lead me to… I don’t even know. Belonging, I guess. In the craziest way possible, I feel like with him I could finally belong.
I’m absolutely, clinically insane for thinking that.
“It’ll be fine,” Sara reassures me. “You guys will go out, have a good time, maybe share some bodily fluids. It doesn’t have to be serious.”
I grimace. “Please don’t let me hear you say bodily fluids ever again. I don’t think I can handle it.”
Sara laughs and squeezes my shoulder. “Seriously, kid. Be safe, but enjoy it.”
I look up to her face in the mirror, and I’m hit by a pang of grief.
There aren’t many times when I think of my mother. Well, that’s not true. I think of her a lot, but not as much as I used to. Her memory isn’t debilitating anymore, I guess. But it’s in times like this when her absence rears its ugly head.
I can’t help but feel like she should be with me, helping me get ready, giving me advice. She’s the only person who would understand my complicated feelings for Teizel — the only person who would take me seriously when I say he’s otherworldly.
Maybe, if Mama were here, she’d have something wise to say to help me navigate this budding relationship. And even if she didn’t, at least I’d be able to talk about it with someone.
The bookstore’s front door opens, announced by the bell ringing. Sara and I exchange a glance.
“Ready?” she asks.
I force thoughts of my mom at bay. “As ready as I’ll be.”
We both walk onto the main floor. Teizel stands leaning against the counter. The soft, warm lights of the store do nothing to ease his ethereal looks. If anything, they highlight how everything about him is razor-sharp, from his jawline to his cheekbones and brow bone. All those angles cast direct shadows over his face. It would be frightening if he wasn’t so damn handsome.
His black silk shirt has the first three buttons open, highlighting his collarbones and a peak of his chest. It’s tucked into high-waisted pinstripe pants that underscore the trim shape of his body, from his wide chest to his narrow waist and hips.
