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Sobs shake my shoulders, a pitiful cry catching in my arid throat, escaping as little more than a croak. My mother and grandmother could be in literal hell right now, and I spent all these years ignorant to that idea. Because I wasn’t taught anything of value about spirits, and the afterlife, and all the things I’ve carried with me as a burden since I was a child.
But Mama must have known. After my first encounter with a ghost, she promised to teach me, except she was dead before any useful information could be exchanged.
I reach a hand for her tombstone, running my fingertips over the etched letters of her name, the moss growing in the ridges tickling my skin.
Maybe living with monsters for all eternity to come is the destiny that awaits us all after death; maybe there is no rest, no peace from our Earthly sufferings; maybe that’s the eternity we deserve. And it’s possible Mama was prepared for what awaited her on the other side. But if that’s the case, why move on at all? Why not stick around… with me?
A million questions swirl in my head, begging to be addressed, but the reality of it is that none of them will find answers. Not without my mother.
I guess I could keep searching for another person with the Sight, though that quest has led me nowhere so far. Finding someone else like me could take the rest of my days, and in that time, I have to live with the thought of what could be happening to my family on the other side.
If I had Mama back, though… she could teach me. We could make up for lost time. Now that she’s seen the afterlife, she’ll be even more knowledgeable. She might know of a way to save Àvia from that hell.
I need my mother. It’s clear I’m ill-equipped to handle all the nightmares hiding in the shadows on my own. With Mama by my side, I could learn. With Mama by my side, I wouldn’t go stumbling around trying to find answers, getting myself in more trouble than it’s worth. With Mama by my side, I wouldn’t be alone anymore.
And she’d be safe.
I pull my hand back from the headstone and ball it on my thigh. Though I’m sure Teizel has a steep price in mind for his bargain, if I let him walk away with his offer I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I’ll have to live with the guilt of knowing I could’ve saved my mother from hell, and didn’t attempt to. I take a deep breath and steel my back.
I know what I have to do. “I’ll save you, Mama.”
chapter 16
let the flames begin
esmeralda
Cold sweat drips down my neck and palms, leaving my skin sticky and clammy. It’s windy today, and the ocean waves crash against the marina, making the fishermen boats sway. I tighten my sweatshirt around my shoulders, pulling the sleeves over my hands and running them over my pants to dry the sweat. The server slides my scalding cup of tea in front of me, and I waste no time bringing it to my face, blowing over the surface so steam pearls against my skin. My foot taps ceaselessly on the planked floor, keeping time with the crashing waves. With every passing moment I’m less certain of my choice, but it’s too late to back out. My mother deserves this.
When the door to the patio swings open, I whip my head to it. Teizel looks at ease, hands draped in the pockets of his wide-legged pants and the barest hint of a smile painted on his lips. He walks confidently, head held high, like he owns the place. Like he owns everything.
Smug asshole.
He sits across from me, miles of leg stretched toward my chair and ankles crossed, perusing the menu. The server returns, and he asks for a coffee and a side of bacon. Once she leaves, he leans forward, chin propped on the back of his hand, and gives me his undivided attention. There’s calmness and confidence in his features, something I’m sure my face doesn’t mirror at all. As if he never doubted for a second we’d be here.
I want to stab him with my utensils, but I remind myself we’re in a cafe, and instead I take a forkful of my hash browns and stuff it in my mouth.
“I’m glad you called,” he says like we’re discussing a random date or something.
I do my best to nail him with a scowl. “You’re ridiculous.”
His eyebrows rise. “Me? What have I done?”
“I’m glad you called,” I imitate him, before shoving another mouthful in. “As if you’d ever leave me alone if I hadn’t.”
“I’m not the monster you’re making me out to be, Esmeralda.”
Now that’s laughable. I throw my head back, my chortle ringing through the patio; the few other patrons turn my way, but I don’t bother keeping quiet.
Teizel grins. “Okay, maybe I am. But you don’t know the full story, either.”
“I don’t care to know it. You and I are not friends. We’re not anything. You’re a means to an end.”
He leans back, rubbing his chest. “Wounding words.”
The server returns with his order, and after checking in on both of us, disappears. Teizel grabs a strip of bacon with his long fingers and takes a bite.
“Tell me what you want in exchange for my mother, and let’s get it over with.”
