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“It wasn’t worth what you needed.”
That only strokes the flame in my belly higher. It’s licking at my throat now, making my words hoarse. I slam the ring box atop his dresser. “So you thought you’d… what? Just give me the money? And you kept the ring so I wouldn’t find out?”
He doesn’t answer, but he really doesn’t need to. Even before the words leave my lips, I taste their truth on my tongue. That’s exactly what he did.
I clench my itching fists. “Why, Tei?”
He steps around me, picking up the books I’ve displaced in my peruse and returning them to their original location. For several minutes, we don’t speak. It’s just me staring daggers at him as he roams. He finally leans against his windowsill, facing the room — and me. And yet, he doesn’t speak.
“We can play this game all day long. I’m not budging from here until you tell me why you gave me the damn money.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “You know, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I asked you to come over.”
The growl that grows from my chest is a sound so foreign it almost startles me, and yet it feels so freeing to let it out. “Speak, Tei. Now.”
He squares me with a cold glare. “If I hadn’t given you the money, what would you have done?”
There was no good plan B, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of hearing me say that — although judging from his tone, he’s very well aware. “I would’ve figured it—“
“Sold the house. That’s what you would’ve done. You might’ve let Sara lend you the money, as an advance, then you would’ve sold the house to pay her back, and left town.”
I grit my teeth, my anger only worsened by the fact that he’s right.
“I couldn’t let you leave.” The way he says that is like a stroke of velvet against my skin, causing goosebumps to cover my arms, but his next words are again cold as ice. “It would’ve meant I’d not be able to propose the bargain to you, and I couldn’t take that risk.”
There was a time when I would’ve believed him. After all, nobody has ever done something for me out of dedication, or care. I’ve been a liability at worst, at best a means to an end. Except I don’t believe that anymore. Not when it comes to Tei, at least. “Don’t you think you’ve lied to me enough?”
His eyes widen. “What?”
“You’re lying, Tei. You put on this indifferent face when you do it.” I wave my hand around my own face, imitating his stoic expression. “I’m tired of it. I’ve earned more honesty from you than that, don’t you think?”
His face falls, and behind the mask he’d been wearing there’s enough torment to soften my anger. I don’t like that it does that to me. “Does it truly matter why I did it? You got the money, and now you have your ring back, too. Can’t you just drop the subject?”
I shake my head. This is the Tei from the other day, when he admitted to loving his mother as if it were the greatest sin known to his kind. It’s the Tei who looks at me like I’m a danger to his sanity, the one who seems to be fighting against feelings he can’t help.
It’s the Tei I want.
I take a step toward him. He looks over his shoulder, but his back is already against the windowsill. “No, I really can’t drop it.”
“Why?” he whispers.
Another step. “Because I deserve the truth. Because you don’t get to decide for both of us the things that are left unsaid.” More steps. Another and another. I’m halfway to him now. “Because I see the things you try to hide under arrogance and indifference.”
I hold my ground for a moment, staring at him. Tei doesn’t look back. Instead, his gaze is focused on the hands he holds in front of him, clenching his fists then stretching his fingers wide. One, two, three times.
“Because I care, and I want to know if you do too.” My words are barely a murmur, but I don’t doubt he heard them, especially when his face whips to me, eyes wide and lips parted. I take another step.
Tei’s shoulders rise and fall slowly. “You had a problem, and I had a solution. And the idea of letting you struggle with something I could so easily fix… I didn’t see the point. So I took care of it.”
Almost there, but not quite. “Why?”
Finally, he takes a step too, bringing our distance to only a couple of inches. “Because there’s something incredible about you. Because no matter how hard I try to keep away, you reel me in. Because if you ask me whether I care…” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’d be easier if I didn’t.”
It’s like we’re on the edge of a precipice. This is still the monster who was willing to bargain my life for his freedom, and yet, he’s so much more than the ruthless creature I originally gave him credit for.
I could walk us back to safer territory. I could return our relationship to its transactional nature. Like Tei said, it’d be easier if we didn’t care.
At this point, I don’t know if I can help it.
