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chapter 34
truths untold
teizel
As the word leaves my lips, a part of me wishes to take it back. That’s not possible anymore. The Pandora vase has been opened, and the truth cannot return to its previous confines. I stare at Esme as she lets it sink in, as if I’m somehow expecting her to turn into a different person right in front of my eyes, now that she knows.
She doesn’t. Of course, she doesn’t. Because this isn’t Isabel, this is Esme. My little gem, and my little witch. Mine, even with knowledge that could destroy me. Esme would never use it that way. I don’t know if believing that makes me foolish. That’s probably the case. And yet, I can’t bring myself to think otherwise.
“A… witch,” she repeats, as if trying the word out, testing it for size. She’ll find it to fit perfectly, in time, no matter how foreign it may be right now. “How does that even… how does that work?”
Grabbing her hips, I bring her closer to me and flip on my back so she’s straddling me. Her hands find my naked chest easily, her fingers exploring like they have a mind of their own. My own hands smooth over her thighs. “Witches are shepherds of souls. They’re the bridge between this world and the Beyond. Since the beginning of time, they’ve been tasked with the job of ensuring spirits make the journey unscathed, that they don’t get stuck on the wrong side.”
Esme’s face twists into a scowl. “We haven’t done a very good job, obviously.”
That steals a laugh out of me. “No, you haven’t,” I concur. “Through the millennia, that primordial agreement got a little… muddled. A blessing from the Beyond comes with power. Lots of it, if you can harness it properly. For many witches, that was far more appealing than the job they’d been tasked with to start.”
She sucks her bottom lip in, drawing imaginary figures on my chest, tracing the lines of my abs. I’m desperate to know what’s going through her mind. Luckily, I don’t need to ask. “All the ghosts I’ve seen in my life, all the ones I’ve avoided… I could’ve helped them.”
I shake my head, because I can barely believe her. If it wasn’t for the briny scent of her emotion, tinged in deep sorrow, I wouldn’t. But scents don’t lie. “You didn’t know,” I say, feeling the deeply unfamiliar need to comfort her.
Her emotions turn smokier at that. “You’re right, I didn’t. Because I never got the chance to try.”
She fists her hands against my pectorals, pressing her knuckles down. “Because all my life, I’ve been told to steer clear. By the people who were supposed to love me. The ones who should’ve guided me. The ones who knew.” Her voice breaks, and she looks away, hiding her face behind a curtain of hair.
Holding her face in both hands, I force her gaze back to mine. Wetness gathers on her bottom lids, and I wipe at it with my thumbs. “You can’t change what happened. But you can change how you’ll act now.”
Esme takes a deep breath. “They weren’t the only ones who knew, though.” She jabs a finger against my chest. “You’ve known. Since that day in the library, when I told you I could see Mei. You knew then, didn’t you?”
There’s no point in denying it. It’ll only push her away. “I did.”
Her finger jabs harder. “Then why did you keep it from me?”
She makes a move to leave. I don’t let her. Instead, I lift myself to a seated position, holding her waist tight. Esme tries to fight me, pushes against my chest, but I hold firm. I can’t let her walk away now. I need her.
I want her.
“Esme, stop.”
She stills, at first, like her body is so primed to obey my commands already, she can’t help it. When she realizes what she’s done, she pushes against me harder. “You knew I wanted answers. I put my own life on the line for them. And you’ve held them in the palm of your hand this whole time.”
“Not the whole time,” I attempt to defend myself. If I’d known what she was before starting the game, I would’ve never offered her the bargain.
She glares at me. “Go to Hell, Tei.”
“I’m trying to,” I answer with a bitter smile.
Esme groans and shoves me again. Twisting my fingers in her hair, I grip it tightly and pull it, forcing her back to arch. Before she can stop it by sealing her lips together, a moan escapes her that makes my cock twitch. Angry as she may be, she still wants me. I can only imagine what my touch feels like now that she has some power from the Beyond pulsing through her veins. Like recognizes like.
I lean forward so she’s caged between my thighs and my chest and brush my lips against her ear. “Once we’re done, I’m going to fuck all the frustration out of your tight little body. But first, you’re going to listen.”
She doesn’t agree, but she doesn’t insult me, either, so it’s a step in the right direction. I pull her hair again to force her to look at me. “I’ve known for a couple of weeks. And in the beginning, I had no plan of ever telling you.”
“You’re not helping your case,” she growls.
“Let me finish. This isn’t easy for me to admit.”
Esme rolls her eyes. “What, that you planned to continue to deceive me like you’ve done from the start?”
