AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jay laughed. “I guess not. Sounded like California girls are extra energetic.”
Duncan looked away, returning his focus to the ocean. He felt like shit today.
Actually, he felt guilty as shit today.
It was so stupid. He owed Phoebe nothing—and that wasn’t just him trying to twist things around to make a case to her that he hadn’t cheated last night. She herself had made it clear that he owed her nothing. Yet his first thought upon waking and seeing himself tangled up with two SoCal sweetbutts had been that he’d fucked up.
Having the option to fuck whom he wanted when he wanted was the life he’d chosen. He hadn’t pretended otherwise with Phoebe, and she hadn’t made any commitments to him, either. So why the fuck did he feel practically sick with guilt?
“Seriously, Dunc,” Jay said, setting his hand on Duncan’s back. “What’s up?”
Duncan shrugged him off. “Nothing. Fuck off.”
Jay shoved away from the fence. “Okay, buzzkill. I’m gonna go back and get some churros. You wanna talk, let me know. Otherwise, mope away.” He turned and strolled back to the restaurant.
Duncan stood where he was, watching the waves wash up against the rocks below, and examined what was going on inside him. He’d been in his head all morning, so he pretty much understood already: it didn’t matter that she didn’t care whom he slept with, he still felt disloyal. Which meant he liked Phoebe a lot. Enough to change his life to be with her.
But, again, one fucking week. It seemed crazy to even consider changing his life for a girl he barely knew. And what if she was back in Oklahoma, deciding that she wasn’t interested, regardless? It had been only a week for her, too. Maybe she didn’t want to change her life, either. Maybe she was a lot less conflicted about it than he was.
Fuck, what if he went back and said he’d decided he wanted to try to make something with her, and she told him, nah, no thanks? What a fucking simp he’d be then!
A familiar hand settled on his shoulder, and Duncan jumped. He hadn’t heard his father come up.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Son. We’re getting ready to ride out. You ready?”
Duncan inhaled slowly and pulled himself out of his thoughts. “Yeah.”
As he pushed away from the fence, Dad caught his arm. “Hey. You want to talk? We can take a few minutes.”
He nearly deflected and moved to return to the restaurant, but his dad was looking at him so intently, Duncan ended up asking, “Can I ask a personal question?”
“Sure.” Dad leaned back against the fence and settled in. “Hit me.”
“How did you know Mom was who you wanted to be with forever?”
For a second, Dad regarded him quietly. Then a smile emerged and grew. “Are you thinking about the truck girl?”
“Her name is Phoebe, Dad.”
“Sorry. Phoebe. So yes, you are.” When Duncan acknowledged the truth with a nod and a shrug, Dad continued, “Well, you know the story about how Mom and I met.”
That was one of those stories his parents told at every opportunity. “In Walmart. She helped you pick out a purse for Cissy.” Cecily had been a little girl back then; Dad had always had an extra soft spot for her.
“Right. Your mom was this beautiful, sweet girl, with a little bit of sass under the sweet. I liked her right off and got her number before I left the parking lot. I don’t know exactly when I decided I wanted her forever, though. I just wanted her then, and I kept wanting her, and then I wanted her forever.” Wearing a nostalgic smile, he turned to face the ocean. “I guess if there was a moment when I knew it for sure, it was when she told me she was pregnant with Kelse. We’d only been together a couple months then. But I knew. And it wasn’t just responsibility for the baby, or anything like that. I knew I wanted your mom. I’d wanted a family my whole life, and that was when I knew I wanted to make that family with her.”
“You were older, though. Right? Like thirty or so?”
“Twenty-eight when we met. Not that much older. I was thirty-three when we got married. We lost four years while I was in McAlester.”
Duncan knew most of the details of that story, too. His parents hardly ever told that one, however. “I want a family, too,” he said, “but I don’t know if I want all that right now. I feel too young to settle down like that. What if I miss something good?”
Reaching back, Dad drew Duncan forward to stand beside him, and hooked his arm across Duncan’s back.
“There’s no way not to miss things in this life, Dunc,” Dad said as they watched the water together. “Whatever path you take, you close off all the others, and you lose whatever was on those paths. It’s about wanting the things you choose and not worrying about what you close off. That whole YOLO thing is bullshit, Dunc. Yeah, we’ve only got one life, but the way to live it is not to try to do everything. It’s to try to do the right things.”
“You think I should try with her? Is that the right thing?”
