AllFreeNovel
Share Us
They returned to the house and the cozy scent of dinner in the works. Vin liked to make a pan roast on wintry days, with garlic mashed potatoes and mixed squash. She could hear his and Margot’s affectionate bickering as she sat on the front-hall bench and pulled off her—yes, ruined—boots and shed her various layers of outerwear.
Her phone rang as she hung her scarf over her coat on the hook, and she fished it out of her coat pocket.
For a moment, she stared and let it ring. Duncan was calling. She was glad it was a regular phone call and not FaceTime, because she could not possibly look good after an afternoon of work, the last bit of it in wind and sleet. Also, it was kind of charming to get a regular call. Everybody she knew used FaceTime by default when they called a friend or family.
Or maybe Duncan didn’t think of her as a friend?
Finally, she answered. “Hi?”
“Hey. It’s Duncan.”
The pleasure in his voice was obvious, and Phoebe found herself smiling—and feeling a mood worthy of a smile. Like hearing from this man she barely knew was aloe on the burn of her worries.
That didn’t mean she was going to let him up easy, however. “Yes, I know. Your name came up with the call. Because that’s how phones work.”
He laughed. “Okay, okay, sassypants.”
“We talked about nicknames, remember?”
“I remember. I remember you said I couldn’t call you snarkypuss. So I’m trying something different.”
She walked into the living room and settled in Vin’s recliner. “Sassypants is also a no-go.”
“Damn, you’re tough. I’ll keep trying, though. Hey—I hope it’s okay I’m calling.”
The mere sound of his voice had settled so much of her turmoil, she knew she had to be careful. She liked this man more than he liked her. If she let her guard down, he could really hurt her, and this was not a good time for her heart to take more damage.
But damn. Ninety seconds of this phone call had done what all the support and wise words of her actual dear friends had not. She could finally breathe deeply again, and the fog in her brain wafted away.
She had to be careful. “It is. But why are you?”
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Phoebe.”
“Really? That’s interesting, since it’s been days since you last texted.” Fuck, that sounded needy, didn’t it? But it was true, and it was what she was thinking—what she was feeling. Still, it seemed a dangerous thing to say aloud.
The line was fine between being careful and playing games.
“I know,” he answered, and seemed frustrated. “I haven’t had good service for days. You’d think being so close to all the tech companies out here they’d have great service, but they very much do not. I finally got three bars, and I wanted to say ... well, that—I’ve been thinking of you. And I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole.”
Why did he keep hitting that note? What did he want her to say? “You haven’t. I told you that before. You’ve been straight with me. You’re not an asshole because you don’t want to get involved.”
“No, but maybe I am for not knowing what I want—or for knowing and being too chicken-shit to realize it.”
Unable to parse out his meaning there, Phoebe sighed and said, “Duncan, if you want me to absolve you of something, I absolve you. It’s fine. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t know what else to say.”
“A few nights back, when we were in SoCal, I fucked a couple girls.”
Her breath stopped in her chest. She had no right to be hurt, he owed her nothing, but wow. Ow. How long after they’d last texted had he waited? And a couple girls? Like at once?
It didn’t matter. He owed her nothing. Reclaiming her breath, she said, “Okay ...”
“And it’s been fucking with my head since. I feel like a total shit for it.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Duncan,” she repeated, though it felt less true now. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because ...” he stopped there, was quiet for a few beats, and picked up again. “Because it’s been fucking with me, and I know I don’t owe you anything. I know I didn’t cheat, but I feel like I did. I think that means something.”
Choosing her words as if each one might explode beneath her, Phoebe asked, “What do you think it means?”
