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She squealed in protest but threw her arms around his waist. “You love me.”
“I really, really do.” He finished turning their grapple into a hug and held her close.
~oOo~
A week or so after the Harvest Festival, Zaxx and Bo were in the Lundens’ living room together, setting the table for dinner. Lilli and Gia were in the kitchen, cooking the meal and singing along, in a passable harmony, with a Taylor Swift album.
He would not have expected the Lunden women to be Swifties, but when he’d said that aloud, he’d gotten double-teamed with an impassioned lecture about why she was and deserved to be a feminist and cultural icon.
Isaac was in the garage; he’d spent the day doing routine service on the family vehicles, something he emphatically wanted no help with. Zaxx got it; working on engines was Zen time for him, too.
Dusk was falling on what had been a bright, brisk Saturday at the end of October. The trees had lost most of their leaves, which lay in big, fragrant drifts on the grass and along the roads. Almost nobody around town raked and burned leaves anymore; they were left where they lay, so wildlife could use them however they needed.
This was Zaxx’s favorite time of year, and on a day like this, spent with family, a good meal in the works and a fire crackling in the fireplace, he really felt home. This wasn’t quite his home, but it was far homier than his had ever been—and he’d been granted an honorary membership here, anyway.
The summer had wrenched him back and forth repeatedly, heart, mind, and soul. The lowest lows of his life, the most intense pain and guilt and worry he’d ever experienced. Loss and hurt like he’d never known before—his own, and that of people he loved. But also love like he’d never known before. And friendship. Darwin and Thumper had both become more than ‘work friends’ since July, and Isaac had begun to treat him as something like a son.
Summer had dispossessed him physically and psychically, but autumn had made him a cozy nest. He had love and friendship. His sister was healing. His family was doing okay. And he also had this family, which was—and he felt no guilt to think it—a better one.
Zaxx opened a drawer in the Lundens’ credenza and pulled out a rust-red tablecloth. Over the months Zaxx and Gia had been together, table-setting had become a chore he shared with Bo whenever he joined the family for a meal.
When he wasn’t around, it was Bo’s chore and had been for years. There had been some negotiation the first time Zaxx had asked if he could help. Bo had a way of setting the table, as he had a way of doing all things.
Zaxx was perfectly happy to do it Bo’s way, and Bo made an effort to be okay getting help, but they’d had to work out who did what. Zaxx did the tablecloth, placemats, and napkins. Bo went behind him and laid out the dishes and silverware—and also fixed anything Zaxx hadn’t done exactly to his liking.
Zaxx really enjoyed this simple chore. It was such a family thing, setting the table for dinner, but it hadn’t really been a thing in his family.
In the kitchen, Lilli and Gia belted out a particularly energetic verse, and Zaxx grinned. “They’re really getting into it.”
Bo hadn’t reacted. Still focused on arranging a place setting, he said, “Yes. They used to sing and cook often when Gia and I were children. But Gia and Mom stopped singing and started fighting when she was a teenager. It’s nice to hear them do it again. Although Mom doesn’t reach the high notes.”
No, she did not, though she sure tried. And Gia couldn’t sustain the long notes. But they clearly did not care that their voices were not professional quality.
“Gia sings more because of you, I think,” Bo said as he moved to the next place setting.
Zaxx had gone to get a set of candlesticks from the hutch. He stopped and turned to Bo. “She does? Why because of me?”
“You make her happy.” He turned and faced Zaxx directly, still clutching a place setting’s worth of silverware. “Actually, that’s not a good way to express my meaning. Gia makes herself happy. We should always be in control of our own happiness and never give that control to someone else. But Gia is with you because she’s happy when she is.”
Zaxx stood there, stunned speechless.
Gia had first told him she loved him weeks ago, and he’d readily returned the sentiment. Since then, they exchanged the words regularly—and more importantly, their relationship had settled into something deep and constant. Their love wrapped around them, and it was vividly obvious in the way Zaxx had been gathered into the Lunden family. Not merely accepted but adopted.
Bo’s words, though, shone new light on his feelings. He’d never thought of happiness or love that way, and it was like a cosmic seal of approval. There was more power somehow in knowing Gia loved him because she chose to. It hadn’t happened to her, she wasn’t a victim of her emotions. She’d reached out and grabbed love because happiness came with it.
He remembered the way she’d grabbed his neck to pull him down for their first kiss. She’d been reaching for him since the day she came back home. And when he’d pulled his head out of his ass and reached back, she’d still been there. Because she’d known what she wanted.
Her autistic brother was emotionally astute enough to really understand—and to shine the light so Zaxx could see it, too.
“I’m happy with her, too,” he said. The words seemed too simple to be adequate, but they were true.
“Of course you are.” Bo went back to his table-setting.
But now Zaxx was thinking about Gia’s brother in a new way. “Hey, Bo?”
“Yes?” he answered without looking away from his task.
“What makes you happy?”
