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I am not scared of Ronan McDermott.
Ronan McDermott does not scare me.
Good pep talk, Harp.
Ronan turns in his chair to face me head-on. I continue to stare. With a heavy sigh, he leans forward, resting his forearms on his desk, and laces his fingers together like this is some sort of business meeting. He’s so fucking irritating.
I realize that I haven’t taken a good look at him in a few days. He looks tired. Like there is more going on behind the scenes than he leads on, like he is quite literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and can’t manage to shed even a pound. As much as he grates on my every single nerve, I don’t want that for him. I want him to feel lighter, to feel whole. I relax my shoulders, forcing my body language not to look so guarded. “What, Ronan?”
“You tell me, Harper.”
And, I’m back to wanting to throttle him. As much as I want to help him help himself, a girl can only take so much. “Honestly, I don’t know. You’re the one who called me in here. You’re the one who has been sitting in here for the last fifteen minutes ignoring me. You’re the one who is pretending like I don’t exist.” I feel my voice getting louder and a sudden sting behind my eyes. I will myself not cry in front of him. “You’re the one who can’t seem to stand the sight of me. And you know what, Ronan? I’m fucking sick of it!” Okay, wow, Harp. “You will not have me sit here while you scold me for having a fun night out. I felt free tonight for the first time since Cece died, hell, for the first time since my parents died. I let, damned the consequences. And I don’t need you spoiling it with your temper tantrum because I didn’t behave how you wanted me to!”
If he’s shocked by my outburst he doesn’t show it. In fact, he looks even more pissed off than he did before we walked in here. Probably wondering where I got the nerve to speak to him like that. King of the Irish Mafia and all. But I’m not done. I’m not backing down and I just thought of the perfect way to drive my point home.
He doesn’t scare me. He doesn’t intimidate me. And he sure as hell doesn’t have the right to judge me. I may be in this apartment because I need to be, but that doesn’t give him the right to treat me like he has been.
No. I came here tonight with a purpose, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get underneath his skin one way or the other.
I stand from my spot and make my way around the desk towards him. His eyes track my every move like a lion stalking its prey. Except for once in my life, I’m not the prey… he is. Once I reach his chair, I hinge at the waist, place my hands on each armrest and spin the chair so he’s facing me. With my face an inch from his, I can practically hear him grinding his molars. I lower my lips to the spot just below his ear, the one I love and the one Mac told me was his weakness. My lips are featherlight against his skin, and I whisper, “Fuck. You. Ronan.”
In the span of five seconds, several things happen at once. Ronan grabs my hips, lifts me off the ground, and slams me onto his desk. Before I have time to process, he wraps his tattooed hand around my throat, and I feel the metal of his rings against my skin. He pushes me down so my back is flat against the wood. His massive six-foot-five frame towers above me. The baby blue color of his eyes is nowhere to be found; in their place, the color of the deepest sea. The longer I look into them, the more I see the storm brewing inside him. His perfectly hardened composure is slipping. I can see his chest’s rapid rise and fall, the tick in his jaw. The longer he holds me, the more turned-on I become.
Finally, I got to him. Show me what you’ve got, Ronan.
I don’t move. I don’t speak. I don’t look away. I’m afraid any sudden movements will scare the wild animal in front of me. I don’t want him to run. I want him to give himself to me. I know he’s been holding himself back. He thinks he’s not good for me, that he’s too dangerous. Maybe he is. I don’t care anymore. I want him to own me. I want him to ravage me. I want him to let go.
Ronan lowers his face, hand still gripping my neck, his lips brushing against mine as he speaks, “We will talk about your actions tonight later. But right now,” he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. I worry he will stand up and walk away for a moment, but then he opens them, and my breath seizes in my chest. The way he looks at me is enough to burst me into flames. “I can’t fucking take it anymore, Harper.”
“Take what?”
“You being here. I thought I could stay away. Hell, I need to stay away. Things are going on that you should have nothing to do with.” His opposite hand slides up my calf until he grips just above my knee and wraps one of my legs around him. “But you’re just too… too… too fucking perfect. I can’t stay away.”
This is it. I broke him.
“So don’t.”
He takes another deep breath through his nose and moves his mouth to my ear, “I can fucking smell them on you, Baby.” He moves his hand up my thigh towards the hem of my dress. I’m practically shaking with anticipation. His hand burns my skin in its wake, and the way he calls me “Baby” in that deep gravelly voice makes me wet on the spot.
“Let’s get one thing straight right fucking now. If this happens,” he gently bites my earlobe, “you will be mine. You’ll be mine to protect. Mine to keep safe. Mine to please. Mine to fuck. Mine.” His hold on my neck tightens now to the point of pain. But I don’t ask him to stop.
“But Mac and Finn…”
“Are yours.” His eyes snap back to mine, “Mac and Finn are yours, and you are theirs. But you will also be mine. You are part of us now, and you aren’t going anywhere. Do you understand me, Baby?”
“Yes, Ronan.”
“Shit. I love hearing my name come from those lips.”
I know he’s not lying. I can feel his erection pushing against my thigh. I love knowing that I drive this man crazy. A man who is so rarely affected by others. So, I sit up straight so I’m face-to-face with him, whisper, “Ronan,” and watch him suck in a deep breath.
“Now, tell me, Baby. You want me to make you come? Right here on my desk?”
Sweet Jesus… I’m done for. Dead. Deceased. Right here. Done.
“Yes.”
“You want me to fuck this pussy while their cum is still leaking out of you?”
