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I nodded. “I—yeah.”
His face twisted with regret. “I can stop?—”
“No,” I interrupted quickly. “Oh—ah! Um, give me a minute. And maybe kiss me again.”
That sweet smile crept back in. “I can do that.”
It was as if he knew there was something about his kiss that wiped all my worries from my mind. It relieved the tension inside me.
The pain began to fade, replaced by a sensation of fullness and pressure. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t unbearable. Michael’s eyes locked with mine as he held himself still. There was a mix of emotions there—love, desire, and a quiet determination. He was focused entirely on me, making sure I was okay.
I reached up and gently ran my fingers through his hair, pulling him down to kiss me again. I needed him to help me forget the pain for a moment. His kiss could help me forget anything.
And then, slowly, he began to move. His hips swayed as he found a rhythm, his thrusts deep and slow. I could feel each movement, the friction of our bodies joining together, heightening the intensity of the sensations.
The pain was still there, a constant reminder of the boundary we had crossed. But it receded a bit with every thrust. My hips met his, and I could feel myself becoming more aroused as our bodies moved together, lost to the world around us.
The room faded away. It was Michael and me, locked in this moment, experiencing something raw and unfiltered.
Waves of pleasure began to build. Heat starting to spread throughout my entire body. Michael’s eyes locked onto mine, and I could see the same hunger and desire reflected back at me.
“Michael,” I whispered. I grabbed his hips, urging him to go faster, harder, deeper.
Michael’s eyes never left mine as he continued to move, his breath ragged and his expression full. I whispered his name. And then proceeded to lose myself completely.
“Michael!” I shouted as that wave broke once more. I clawed for purchase, and he groaned along with me as we broke together again and again.
Michael groaned and buried himself into me one last time. He held us there, locked together, as my body shuddered around him.
Eventually, our breathing began to regulate, and the intensity of the moment began to fade. Michael’s eyes never left mine; his expression filled with a mix of love, tenderness, and awe.
“I love you,” he whispered. “Christ, Lea. I love you so fucking much. Do you understand?”
A tear slipped down my cheek as I nodded. I couldn’t have explained why I was crying, but I realized I didn’t have to as he gently kissed it away.
“Are you okay?” His voice was muffled against my skin.
“Yes. Better than okay. You?”
“Baby, I don’t think I have ever been better in my whole life.” He pressed one final kiss to my lips. “I honestly don’t think I could love anyone more.”
My chest warmed.
He pulled out, and I felt a strange mix of satisfaction and sorrow as I watched him get up. The pain was gone, replaced with the ever-growing realization that I had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed.
He disposed of the condom into the little bin next to my desk, then returned to the bed and gathered me into his chest, allowing me to listen to his heart regulate while both our breathing slowed, long and relaxed.
This wasn’t what anyone in my family would have wanted for me. I was supposed to do better. Follow in my brother’s footsteps to college. They would say I was lowering myself, falling for a mechanic with a record, someone who would undoubtedly hold me back.
But I couldn’t find it in me to be sorry.
And the future I saw with this man could never be limiting. Not if he loved me like this.
“I don’t want to move,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Michael chuckled. “Neither do I.”
We would have to, eventually. The rush of the streets outside were pressing against my window pane. Eventually, my family would come back, the world outside this bedroom would return, and we would have to figure out how to deal with it all.
