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“Thank you,” I said with a grateful smile. But all he did was nod.
My crutches were the only sound as I scooted out of the elevator. “Terry.” My voice shook as I said his name.
“Yeah?” he said, barely looking at me.
“I miss you,” I admitted. It took everything I had to say those words out loud. I wasn’t even sure then why I’d said them. But I did.
“Well, you wanted this,” he said. He let go of the button and the elevator doors closed.
“Right now, I’m not sure why,” I said to no one.
Turning, I made my way to my office.
Once inside, I lowered myself to the chair behind the dark-wood desk and pinched the bridge of my nose. “It sounded like such a good idea at the time. But why would I admit to missing him?”
“Because you do,” Ally said from the now open door.
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t miss me. I told him I missed him, and he reminded me that I was the one who wanted this.”
“You said you missed him, huh?” Ally’s smile was a mile wide.
“Stop enjoying this,” I said, trying to scold her, but my voice held no warning.
“I think you should go apologize to him. He might like that, grovel a little bit. Apologize naked, then he’ll hear you and not reject you. That man couldn’t resist you if you were standing in front of him naked. You could probably get him to sell his soul to the devil if you were naked.” Her giggle was the only sound in the quiet office. She was enjoying this and I hated it.
“Stop it. That’s not what I’m going to do. I’m just going to leave him alone. Give him his space and give him time to stop hating me.”
“Who hates you?” Catherine asked as she entered my office.
“Doesn’t anyone knock before they enter my office?” I asked.
“She’s grumpy today,” Catherine said to Ally.
“She saw Terry, and it did not go well,” Ally said, filling her in.
“Ah,” Catherine said.
“Would you two stop speaking as if I am not here?”
They just laughed, and it only irritated me more.
“Oh, calm down. I’ll come over later tonight, and we’ll come up with a plan to get him back,” Ally said through her laughter.
“And I’m not barging into your office unannounced. We have a meeting, the three of us.”
“Oh,” I said. I had completed forgotten.
I was losing my mind, and I needed to get it together. I took a deep breath.
“No. No coming over to develop a plan, Ally. Let’s just get down to business.” My tone held a warning: no talking of Terry and no schemes to get him back. I had hurt him when I’d thought I was helping. Then Chad died and he deserved better than me saying, ‘Remember when I thought Chad was going to come back to haunt me again? Well, it scared the shit of me that he might hurt you or kill you. I wasn’t sure if I could live without you, so I pushed you away. But he’s dead now, so what do you say we start things up again?’”
Yeah, that wasn’t happening. Terry deserved better. So much better.
