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“That’s why Lynx finished with me,” she says solemnly, and my heart pangs, the look on her face, distraught. “You,” she breathes in, shuddering, “you wanted to make me suffer. Because ofhim.”
“Poppy, I-”
“No, I,” she shakes her head, dropping her gaze, just briefly, before bringing it back to mine. “I get it,” she twitches her nose, her eyes squinting a little as she bites on her bottom lip, wincing as she does, the swelling making her thick lips even bigger.
“I don’t want a fucking acceptance, Poppy,” I frown, lines etching deep in my face. “That’s not,Jesus,I just wanted to explain so you understood, so you knew it was never about you. And I directed my anger wrong, and I ruined what y- I fucked up. I fucked thefuckup and I set those boys against you and they are loyal to me. And they shouldn't be. I led them wrong and you suffered, and it’s all my fault. I’m not asking you to forgive anyof us. Especially not me, but I want you to know.” I swallow, the lump in my throat suffocating.
She has no idea how good she is. What she does to me. How she makes me feel. All of us. God, she’s so beautiful and sad, and fucked up, but so good.
“You are so perfect,” it’s a raspy whisper, the confession pulled deep from my blackened heart. “You are brilliant, and beautiful, and lost.” She looks at me then, tears dripping down her swollen cheeks. “Lost is okay,” I reassure her, dropping my head against hers, a small smile curling my mouth. “You deserve people who love you, will put you first, who will keep you safe.” She trembles in my arms, my shirt gripped so tight in her hands. “A family who will love you no matter what, will help you and hold you and love you.” I take a deep breath, ducking my head so I’m inside the waterfall of her dark hair, our lips almost touching as I lift my head from where it rests against hers. “We can do that for you,” I tell her, meaning it. “Even though we don’t deserve you. We could do that. Can. Will.”
Poppy squeezes her eyes shut tight, her breath held in her chest as she tries to control her cries. And with a shuddery exhale, her chest deflating finally. She licks her lips, looking at me, the vision of her a little fuzzy at the close proximity, but I hold her gaze.
“I can’t,” she breathes, my insides heavy, weighted, useless. “I can’t,” she shakes her head softly. “Knowing,that.I… I can’t.”
My eyes are burning, and I cling onto her harder, tighter, wanting to claw my way inside of her. I’m moving, closing the distance between our mouths and claiming hers in a kiss meant to say goodbye. She’s frozen, lips unmoving as I lap my tongue over her mouth, tasting antiseptic and iron and pain. I knot my fist in her hair, gentle as I tug her head back, my mouth kissing her face, lapping at her tears, mouthing along her cheekbones,down her jaw, and she’s kissing me back and I’m drowning in her.
She’s kissing me back, her lips parting, my tongue pushing between her teeth, and she groans into my mouth, my hand slips down her spine, gripping her ass and she moves with me. Grinding down over my lap, little breaths fanning over my lips as she breaks our kiss, untangling her fingers from my shirt to close them around the back of my neck.
“Bennett,” she gasps, moving her hips with me as I use my grip on her ass to work her over my cock, hard and pulsing beneath my tight slacks.
“That’s it, Lollipop,” I hush, grinding her into me, hissing as her panties slip to the side, exposing just a little bit of her heat. “Fuck,” I’m panting, kissing her again, directing her lips back to mine with my hold on her neck. “Good girl,” I say between kisses, “good fucking girl, come for me, don’t stop, Lollipop.”
She nips my jaw, dropping her head to my shoulder, both of us watching her move. The heat of her cunt like lava enveloping me, a shiver tears up my spine as her nails dig into my skin.
“I don’t forgive you,” she suddenly gasps, her eyes flicking to mine, “this doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
“I know, I know, just, keep going, Poppy, don’t stop, beautiful.”
She moves faster, pushing herself down harder, grinding along my length, the crown of my cock catching on the inside of my zipper everytime she hits me just right.
“You don’t forgive me, I don’t want you to.” She groans with me, her hips stuttering, she’s close and I’m fucking close and I grit my teeth, hissing, “Don’t fucking stop.”
“Bennett,” she cries, my grip on her neck punishing, my fingers digging into her ass as her pace slows, faltering as she starts to come, and I’m climbing higher, my heart hammering inside my chest, trying to break free, and I’m coming too.
Her breathy voice in my ear, “Bennett, Bennett, Bennett.”
A chant, my name, as she comes and I’m finishing inside of my pants and I don’t care as she slows, but she doesn’t stop, whimpering against my cheek, her lips parted and wet. Her breath humid down the side of my neck as she slows to a stop, her chest heaving in an uneven rhythm with my own. Slumped in my arms, my head thudding back against the wall. I cradle her to my chest.
“Let me stay with you, Poppy. Hate me tonight, Lollipop, and then hate me again in the morning, but let me stay.”
“I don’t forgive you,” she whispers, but she’s still in my fucking arms.
It feels like a losing victory.
“Good.”
Chapter 38
RAIDEN
“What do we say?” Rex asks as we stalk down the hall towards Poppy’s final class of the day.
I peer at him from the corner of my eye, keeping up with the original pace I set that feels a little like running.
“I don’t know,” I confess, Rex’s steps faltering for a moment, leaving him behind me, but I don’t stop, students parting as I make my way through the halls.
“Wait,what?I thought you had a plan,” he jogs back up beside me, falling into step, his eyes on me, burning into the side of my face, but I don’t waste time looking at him. “You always have a plan.”
