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Evelyn giggled around the sucker. “Ms. Dae told me I’m pure awesomeness, so I guess I gotta be if I got this.” She took it out for a second and waved it like a gold medal.
Dr. Moore laughed. “Sounds right to me.”
She moved to the door, opened it, then paused to peer back. “You can check out at the front desk, and feel free to call the office if there are any issues, but I wouldn’t anticipate any.”
Then she slipped out.
By then, the rage had dissipated a fraction. Enough that I trusted myself to approach the child. Like a fool, I touched her face, unable to keep the coarseness from the words. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I told you I’m not even broken because Ms. Dae got me here so fast, and they looked at me and took care of me. Don’t you think that’s really good?”
It was the most she’d ever said to me at once.
Everything panged.
My heart and my conscience and the promise I’d made.
“That’s really good. Let’s get you home.”
Reaching out, I carefully picked her up and into my arms, a pained breath leaving me as I drew her to my chest.
I’d picked her up before.
Out of necessity.
Times when she’d fallen asleep in the car and needed to be moved. Or set her on a chair so I could tie her shoe. When I’d lifted her onto Mazzy for the first time.
But I’d never held her like this.
Had never let her reach me.
But right then, I didn’t know how to keep those boundaries high. How to shut it down or shut it out. How to keep from hugging her tight as the relief finally barreled through me.
A flashflood.
My throat locked, and my heart slammed against my ribs.
She patted me on the back with her little hand.
“I’m really very okay,” she promised in her tiny voice, so close to my ear.
I fought the ball of something sticky that caught at the base of my throat.
Feeling unraveled.
Frayed.
Warily, I turned to look back at Paisley who lingered by the wall, this expression on her face that slayed me through.
Too real.
Too genuine.
Too good.
Every-fucking-thing I was not.
TWENTY-FOUR
PAISLEY
Warily, I followed them out the urgent care doors and into the warmth of the waning summer day.
Evelyn was still in Caleb’s arms, and I wondered if maybe he would never let go.
I hoped that were the case.
Hoped he finally saw how amazing she was, this little gift just waiting to be adored.
I saw everything so differently now that I’d learned she was his niece. His reservations and his fear and the rigidness in the way he’d interacted with her.
He handled her like glass he was afraid would break.
My chest squeezed.
How well had he known her before?
She almost seemed a stranger to him.
Foreign.
His deepest fear and his greatest burden.
I ached to ask what had happened to Evelyn’s mother, hoping he’d confide in me, but I was unsure if that was ever going to be a possibility after what happened today.
The terror he’d worn as he stormed in, the man a rampage and looking for somewhere to place the blame.
And that blame might land on me.
I’d accept it if it did.
Take it if it made him feel better. If it’d driven him to this moment where he held her like she was a treasure and not an obligation.
That was a sacrifice I would gladly make.
My footsteps were cautious as I traipsed through the rush of emotion he left behind them as he carried her down the sidewalk to where he’d parked.
Without saying anything, I went to Maybe so I could grab Evelyn’s booster, my movements even slower when I returned and edged around to the driver’s side where he’d opened the passenger door.
“Here, let me get this situated for you,” I told him.
My heart crashed in my chest like a battering ram. Hurting for a man who probably deserved to be hurt, but I couldn’t help but want to hold some of his pain because I had become sure there was something deeper than the malice and animosity.
I knew it.
Saw it.
Felt it simmering around him like a dark gloom trying to break free.
The man was in mourning.
Grieving.
Lost.
Reluctantly, he stepped aside. I set the booster on the seat, my gaze soft as I eased out of the doorway so he could strap her in. He took the longest time and care in ensuring she was securely buckled, murmuring once more, “You’re okay.”
No doubt, he was reassuring himself.
Then he seemed to war, unsure if he wanted to turn around and look at me or not.
My knees knocked when he finally did.
Ice-blue eyes stared back, his gorgeous face written in sharp angles, acute and exquisite.
Fierce enough to annihilate.
Beautiful enough to decimate.
I did my best not to think about him bared last night.
Exposed and beautiful.
The most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen.
In unease, I gestured at my truck. “I’m going to swing by your place to get my things, and then I’ll be on my way.”
