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I swirled my tongue around her sweet nub and fucked her with my fingers in slow, deep thrusts.
She was back to ripping at my hair, the girl panting, winding up so fast I knew it would only take a minute for her to explode.
“I want your dick,” she begged.
Fuck.
This girl.
Chaos.
Too much.
Everything I couldn’t have.
“We aren’t going there, Paisley.”
Like it fucking mattered. Like I hadn’t already broken the vow I had made. But denying myself the pleasure of fully taking her felt like a semblance of control.
A taste without fully giving in.
“Why? I want to. I want to feel you,” she begged.
“I will take care of you, angel.” I shifted my fingers, curling them, rubbing her faster as I licked and sucked her into oblivion.
I could feel the bliss beginning to gather. The way her fingers ripped and tore and her breaths became ragged. Every cell in her body glowed, expanding, racing toward the beauty I wanted to be the one to give her.
One second later, her walls spasmed around my fingers, and she flew. Her entire being bowed with ecstasy, rocked and trembled and rolled.
Wave after wave.
A cry ripped up her throat, and I leaned up so I could swallow it, kissing her as she rode out the orgasm by writhing on my hand.
I held her there while she quivered and shook. She twitched and jerked for the longest time, and I knew it’d take but a touch to have her completely wound up again.
I slowed the manic kiss, waning the intensity until our lips were barely touching. Her pants wheezed through the connection, filling my lungs, like she had become my air.
An angel who’d come to calm the storm.
But how could I let her go there?
How could I be so selfish to drag her into the mess that I had made?
I already knew what my selfishness had cost.
The ultimate price.
I would never put her in that position.
Never.
She edged back, still panting, those eyes delving so deep into mine. Sifting around in the mayhem. Slipping through the cracks of who I’d become and who I wanted to be.
Her spirit rushing out.
Entwining.
Enchanting.
Soothing the sting and this ache.
Reckless Angel.
She pushed me back farther into the chair. A groan got free when she climbed down onto her knees. My guts flexed in greed, the girl so stunning as she knelt fully bare at my feet.
All that hair and those eyes and that beautiful heart she needed to protect.
My thumb traced over the contour of her cheek. Soft against the chaos battering my ribs.
“Paisley.”
“I want to taste you, too.” She tugged at my belt. “I want to touch you. I want to know you. I can’t stop thinking about you. About this body, but I’m thinking about the inside places, too. About this man who carries so much pain. One who’s cast himself aside like waste. A man who needs someone to stand at his side and show him what he really means.”
My hand fisted in her hair as she unzipped me. “Fuck, Paisley. You can’t go there.”
“You’re wrong, Caleb. I’m already right here. Right here.” Then she angled up and hooked her fingers in the waistband of my pants. “You just have to decide if you want to meet me there or not.”
THIRTY
PAISLEY
Desire crackled, and I held onto the waistband of his pants like they were a lifeline. Something to keep me grounded while I rested on my knees in front of this man.
An offering.
Myself.
My body.
My belief.
I knew he didn’t believe he deserved it. I’d seen the self-hatred scored in his eyes when he’d revealed the horrors he’d left behind in Seattle.
The loathing.
The disgust that radiated out and twisted with the hunger for vengeance that shook from him so violently I’d felt it penetrate down to my soul.
I knew I was in the crosshairs of it.
That I’d placed myself in the position to get trampled.
But Dakota had been right. I had to evaluate the risk, and my gut told me he was worth it. On top of it, I was going after what my heart wanted, just like my grandpa had said.
I didn’t want fear to stand in my way, even though it’d taken on new layers with the confessions Caleb had made.
His ghosts grimmer than I ever could have imagined.
But I’d hold them, too. Chase them away.
Aftershocks from the orgasm he’d given me still trembled through my veins, but it was the sight of him staring down at me with those icy eyes burning with lust and reservation that ricocheted through my chest.
Knocked me senseless and made me want to chase after whatever he had to offer.
Desire bristled and blew.
Energy thrashed. No longer just a hum, but a loud thrumming that echoed in my ears and reverberated in my heart.
I needed to touch him. Bring him the same kind of pleasure he’d brought me.
