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Nerves rattled as that emotion fought to break free. The one only she had evoked.
I pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I’ll be right back.”
I unwound myself from her and moved into the bathroom. I flicked on the light, ridded myself of the condom, then wet a washcloth under the sink, coming to stand at the doorway and looking at her on the bed.
She’d shifted, pulling down the covers and slipping underneath. She held the comforter to her chest and was gnawing at her bottom lip as she stared back at me.
Hair a wild halo of white around her.
Reckless Angel.
My chest tightened as I edged the rest of the way back to her, and I tugged the covers down, revealing every fucking gorgeous inch of her body.
She wheezed a sigh, and I pressed the warm cloth to her cunt. “Don’t know what I’m supposed to do now that I’ve experienced this perfect pussy, Paisley Dae.”
It was true.
She was fucking perfect.
Perfect for me. Everything I would be a selfish bastard to try to keep.
The hint of a smile played at the edge of her mouth. “I think the answer to that is clear, Mr. Greyson.” Her voice had gone flirty, drawing my last name out like a tease, and a low moan rolled from her as I cleaned her with the cloth. “You experience it again and again.”
A groan vibrated my chest, and I tossed the washcloth to the ground before I eased closer so I was on my knees hovering over her, her mouth an inch away. “You should be worried how often I might take you up on that.”
“Do I look worried to you?”
“You should be.” The warning came out, and the easiness drained from her, seriousness taking its place.
“Do I hate what you’ve gone through, Caleb? What Evelyn’s gone through? Do I worry for you because there is some sicko out there who wants to hurt you? Of course. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to stand by your side. Just like you came to mine tonight when my ghosts showed up.”
“You need to understand the graveness of what I’m talking about, Paisley. He comes after the people I care about.” The true terror of what I felt ground between my teeth, and I couldn’t do anything but fist a hand in her hair, tipping her head back, trying to get her to grasp what was at stake.
Her head shook, and she reached out, clamped me around the back of the neck and dragged me closer to her, her lips whispering over mine. “We’re in this together.”
Rage curdled beneath the surface of my skin at the thought of something happening to her. Of my putting her in danger. It was at odds with the need to keep her close.
“Lay with me,” she urged, and she lifted the covers. I looked at the spot she’d carved out for me. An asshole for taking it, but I climbed down at her side, propped myself against the pillow, and pulled her into my arms.
She rested her head against my chest, and she played her fingertips over my pecs. Mossy eyes glinted in the bare light as she looked up at me.
The picture ripped the oxygen from my lungs. The woman the thief of my breath.
Her fingertips tapped a quiet song over the thunder that raged in my heart, over the clock imprinted on my chest. “What is this?”
A knot grew tight in my throat.
Reservations spun through me, telling me to get up and go. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I didn’t have the right.
Instead, I pressed my lips to the top of her head, inhaling her goodness, like it might assuage some of the pain that would forever hold me prisoner. “It’s the moment my heart fully died. The moment it ceased to beat. The minute I discovered my sister’s body in the alley of our building.”
Horror ripped from her lungs.
I breathed out a shattered sigh, both tormented and relieved at saying it aloud.
Paisley tightened her arms around me as I confessed the harsh words at the crown of her head. “I found her, Paisley. I found her. I couldn’t stop it from happening. Couldn’t stop her from being hurt. Because of me. Because of the things I did. So, I marked myself with the time when I’d found her so I would remember each time I looked in the mirror what I’d done. What I’d caused. I’d destroyed the one person I’ve ever allowed myself to love.”
Each word became more haggard than the last.
Paisley shifted and pressed her lips to the scar I’d imprinted on my flesh. A scar that was imprinted on my soul. “I’m so sorry you lost her, Caleb. I am so sorry. But I know you are so much more than that moment.”
