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Because I cared too much, that was why. I’d gone and put myself in the position I’d promised myself I’d never be in again.
One where I could be hurt. But I’d known it all along, hadn’t I? That’s where Ezra was getting.
I hurried into the bedroom, frantic, not even sure what the hell I thought I was doing or where I was going.
Away, maybe. To find some clarity. Some space.
I dipped down to grab the duffle bag out from under the bed where I had it stored.
Panicked.
Frenzied.
I started to stand when I felt the presence emerge over me from behind.
Powerful.
Provocative.
The ground shook beneath my feet.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ezra’s words were shards.
I did my best to ignore him. To grab the few things littered on the nightstand and shove them into the bag. But my hands were shaking too hard for me to even be able to pick anything up.
“Savannah.” His voice curled around me. Raw and severe. “Look at me.”
His lure had always been inevitable, the compulsion too great, and there was nothing I could do but slowly shuffle around to face him.
I shouldn’t have looked up. But I did. I lifted my gaze to that magnificent brute of a man who was watching me with the tenderness that he always had. But this morning, it was cut in his own fear, in his own frantic desperation as he filled my doorway.
“What are you doing?” he demanded again. Those honey-melted eyes had hardened in anguish.
“I think it’s best if I go, don’t you?” I shrugged and attempted to make it light. Like it was no big deal. Like this really didn’t matter and the thought of losing him didn’t have me completely shredding apart. “I mean, it’s not like I can stay in your guest house forever.”
Ezra growled. A crack of lightning that struck through the room. “No, I don’t fuckin’ think it’s best if you go.” He took a step toward me. The air shivered and shook. “Why are you running?”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t bullshit me, Savannah. You think I don’t know you by now? You think I don’t see what’s written all over you? You’re afraid.”
I choked out a disbelieving laugh, and there was no keeping back the torment that ripped from my tongue, my voice louder than I intended. “Of course, I’m afraid, Ezra! How could I not be? Every person I have trusted in my entire life has hurt me, and now you’re in the position to hurt me worse than anyone has before you. What do you expect me to do?”
“Stay.” He said it without hesitation.
I choked out a brittle sound. “You don’t really mean that. You just…you just see someone who needs to be saved, someone pathetic and weak, and once you think you’ve patched me up and made me all better, then you’ll be happy to send me on my way.”
The words looked like they impaled him just as hard as they had me when his mother had issued them.
Slaying.
Sundering.
Splitting him in two.
Anger surged in to take its place, and he took another step forward. “Is that what you think, Savannah? That you’re a project? A task? Something to make me feel better about myself since I failed my wife?”
He hit every nail on the head. A hammer coming down.
“I just…”
“You think you’re not more than that to me? After everything, how do you not know?”
“Ezra.” I choked it.
His fist clutched his chest as he angled my direction. “I love you, Savannah. I’m fucking in love with you. So far gone that I can’t think straight. So far gone that I close my eyes and it’s you I see. In so deep that I’m stuck. I’m stuck on you, Savannah, and that’s exactly where I want to be.”
He took another step forward, all that bristling strength vibrating in severity. But his touch was soft when he set his palm on my cheek.
Those eyes warmed as he tipped his head in emphasis, his voice dropping to a murmur, “So yeah, Savannah, you can stay forever. With me. With my kids. You just have to decide if I’m worth believing in.”
The fingers of both my hands curled into the fabric of his shirt, and I sagged against him. “You are the first person I’ve believed in for so long, Ezra, and I’m so scared of it. So scared of how much I ache for you. So scared of how much I need you. So scared of how much I love you.”
A heaving sigh of relief left him at my words, and he gathered me in his massive arms. He curled them around me as he plastered me against the steady thrum of his heart. He pressed his lips to the crown of my head. “Say it again.”
“I love you. I’m in love with you.” It whispered free, so quietly, but I swore that it carried through the room.
