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“What? You’re telling me you’re a virgin?”
“No, but I can’t imagine feeling how you clearly feel.”
Here I was, thinking we didn’t talk about feelings.
“How do I clearly feel?”
“Are you kidding me?” Colt laughs deeply. “You sound like you’d rip the world apart for this Ruby. You sound like you’d propose to her now if she were here. How many years have I known you? Three? Four? You’re a good sparring partner. You’re tough as hell and give as good as you get, but I never thought I’d see you settling down.”
“I’m not,” I tell him. “Ruby and I… We’re over.”
“Why?”
“Because I scare her,” I snap. “Don’t turn this into a therapy session. Will you take the job or not?”
Colt looks closely at me, then shrugs. “Sure, but only if you promise me something.”
“Like I said, we can discuss pay?—”
“I don’t need money,” he cuts in. “I want you to promise you’ll take another chance with Ruby.”
“What? Why?”
Colt stares at me darkly. “Because up until five minutes ago, I thought you were as miserable as me, but you have a chance. It’d be a damn shame to let something like that go.”
“Here I was, thinking you were a cold bastard, but it turns out you are sensitive.”
“All cold men are, on some level,” he grunts.
I think of Elio, of the ice that covered him for so many years and then melted fast when he met his lady.
“I could just tell you I’ll give it another try,” I say.
“But you’re not that man anymore,” Colt replies. “Sure, when you were a drinking, partying waster, maybe you could’ve lied, but you’ve changed since you got sober. You take things more seriously. Lie to me, and you won’t be able to forgive yourself.”
“What’s gotten into you, Colt?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem different today. More intense than usual. That’s saying a lot, buddy.”
Colt sighs. “Nightmares, Luca. Nightmares. But don’t ask me about them. I’d rather put a bullet in your head than talk about that. I don’t mean that to sound aggressive.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re the only man I know who’d dare to say something like that to a Marino. It’s why I like you so much. You’re not scared of anyone.”
“Do we have a deal, then?” he asks.
I stick out my hand. “Sure, I’ll reach out to her, but that doesn’t mean anything will come from it.”
He shakes my hand. “At least you’ve got a shot. So, who am I following?”
Scarlet sings softly as she rocks Molly in her arms. We’re in the living room after sharing a meal: Mom, Dad, Elio, Scarlet, Molly, and me. Mom has a look of pure happiness on her face as she looks over at her daughter-in-law and her granddaughter. Dad’s smile is wide, too, something inside me twitching when I think about how he couldn’t smile until recently.
Scarlet lowers her voice, then leans down and kisses her daughter on the head. Elio, at her side, leans down and kisses her, too. A nasty sensation grips me as I watch them. Is it jealousy? Do I want that?
I stand, go to the liquor cabinet, grab a glass, grab the bottle, put them both down, and return to my seat. Elio watches me closely, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I wonder if she’ll be a singer like my Angela,” Mom says teasingly. It’s a callback to when Elio told Mom that Scarlet’s name was Angela, back during the drama that brought them together.
Scarlet beams over at her. “Whatever she decides to be, we’ll support her.”
Elio kisses his wife on the cheek. “I second that.”
“You’re obsessed with that thing tonight, son,” Dad says.
Elio and Scarlet share a smirk. Cell phones will always have a special significance for them.
“I didn’t even realize I was checking it,” I mutter, putting it back in my jacket pocket.
“Is there something you need to tell us?” Scarlet teases. “A special lady, maybe? Hmm?”
“A lady?” Mom says, getting all excited. She’s seen one of her sons settle down and experience happiness brighter than she ever thought possible. It’s only natural she’d want the same for me. “Have you met someone?”
“Maybe,” I reply.
“Another fling, is it?” Dad says with some disapproval.
“Those days are behind him, Dad,” Elio says.
“Don’t speak for me, brother.”
Elio frowns. Maybe I spoke too sharply. I still can’t get that meeting out of my head: his ominous words about ruining things with Ruby, the way he let that congressman talk down to him. That’s not the Elio I know.
“So it is just a fling, then?” Dad says.
“It’s nothing,” I tell them. “Ruby and I… We’ve only spoken a few times. We haven’t even gone on a date.”
“But your voice, dear,” Mom says softly. “You don’t sound as if it’s nothing.”
As shameful as it is, I still find it difficult to look at Mom the same way as I used to. It’s hard not to think about the affair, and it’s hard not to project that into my future. I was sure Mom and Dad were as in love as two people can be, and she still cheated. I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have the right to sulk about it.
