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“Gin and tonic,” said Essence.
“You can’t switch back and forth like that,” said Decker.
“You know, in my chemistry class, I learned that concentration does not affect reaction time, so the only way liquor-before-beer is true is if somehow, drinking liquor later leads you to drink more drinks. Which, maybe it could, like if you took a bunch of shots, because there’s a lag between taking the shot and feeling the shot, and if you took another couple shots during that lag—”
“Drink whatever you want,” said Decker. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m being so bossy with you.”
“Well, I was going to drink whatever I wanted, actually,” she said. “But thanks for your permission.”
Decker shook his head, looking down at his shoes, laughing softly under his breath.
“I’m waiting to understand how this connects to porn,” said Hollis. “I work at the sex shop in town.”
“Oh, right!” said Essence. “I forgot you worked there.”
“Anyway, it’s of occupational interest to me,” said Hollis. “What kind of beer, Decker?”
Decker told him.
Hollis waved Jeff over and ordered the drinks. Then he turned back, tapping his jawbone with one skeletal finger. “So?”
“Well, let me ask you this,” said Essence. “You look at porn, right?”
“Me?” said Hollis.
“Oh, right,” said Essence. “You don’t have any skin.” She furrowed her brow. “So, does that mean you don’t have, like, urges?”
Hollis shrugged. “Not in a while, no. But my kind, we’re thieves, if you know what I mean?”
“I don’t,” said Essence.
Hollis shrugged again. “I’m an exile, and I’m old and tired. You’ve got nothing to fear from me, don’t worry.” He handed drinks over from the bar. “I have looked at porn, let’s say that.”
“No, it kind of doesn’t work if you’re not interested in sex.”
“I never said I wasn’t interested,” said Hollis, amused. You could only hear it in his tone, because he didn’t have facial expressions.
Essence gestured to Decker. “He thinks porn is bad.”
“You’re making this so simplistic,” said Decker.
“Well, you do, though, right? You’re all abstinence-only with porn.”
“I’m saying it’s unrealistic,” said Decker. “And what do you want? You want something real or you want some weird, twisted fantasy that makes you feel a little queasy in the wake of your orgasm?”
“If it makes you feel queasy, you hit a boundary, that’s all. You don’t know where your boundaries are until you find them,” said Essence.
Decker shook his head. “No, it’s not a boundary, Essence. It’s gross. It’s about dehumanizing women and getting off on treating them like objects.”
“Well…” Essence shrugged. “I mean, being used like an object is hot in theory. I can imagine, in practice, the discomfort might outweigh the hotness, but that doesn’t make the fantasy un-hot. It might be that some things are better as fantasies, anyway, in which case—” She lifted a finger. “Okay, we need to have a caveat conversation.”
“About?” said Hollis.
“About people being exploited by greedy adult filmmakers and stuff,” said Essence. “You know, it’s one thing to read a book or an erotic short. No one was actually harmed in that. It’s just words. But, if something is filmed or photographed, if it’s real people, that’s arguably exploitative. But let’s say, it’s my OnlyFans, and I have complete control over what I’m doing and I’m making my own decisions and I’m keeping all the money. That’s different.”
“Right, I think the last time we talked about this, we got into the weeds with that,” said Decker. “And fine, we’ll leave all of that off the table. We’ll assume that—for purposes of the discussion—all the porn that would be consumed would be made by creators who were not coerced in any way. Even though I would argue that a sexist society coerces them.”
“Right, that’s true,” said Essence.
