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“Well, maybe—” She was at the refrigerator, opening the door, bending down, and her voice went a little muffled— “since the problem is the sex, we should have sex a few times tonight, just to see if we can work out the snags. Then, tomorrow morning, in the light of day, we can make a sober and informed decision.” She poked her head up. “Okay?”

“Uh… I mean, it can’t hurt. We’ve already had sex, after all,” he said.

“Right,” she said, shutting the fridge door.

“Get me a White Claw, too,” he said.

“Nope,” she said. “None for you.”

“But—”

“This is me being bossy,” she said, sucking in a breath. “I’m really nervous about it, but I want to try it, like really try it. I’ve always wanted to do something like this, and really, there’s no one else I could do it with.” She began to chug the hard seltzer.

He just watched. His body was doing strange and tingly things. His cock was very hard. The most surprising thing for him was, well, the warmth he felt when she said he couldn’t have a drink. What the briars was that about?

She finished the seltzer and crushed the can with one hand.

He laughed.

She laughed, a wild giggle. She threw away the can and came back over to the couch. “Okay, Decker, well, first of all, since you’re so worried about being inadequate, I think you should show me your cock.” This all came out in a rush, and her face was bright red.

“What?” he whispered. “Just unzip right here, right now, in front of you?”

She nodded vigorously. “Uh huh, and then I’ll look at it and tell you if it’s adequate or not.”

He swallowed, and he felt that odd warmth again. His fingers trembled, but he did it. He took himself out, and there was his cock. It was gray but smooth and long and thick and sticking straight out of his zipper.

“No touching,” said Essence quietly.

A thrill went through him. He let out a gasp.

“You like being ordered around, don’t you?” she breathed.

“Uh…” He shivered. Fuck, had his cock ever been this hard?

“Okay, just, um, tell me if this is bad or good?” she said. “If it’s bad, I won’t do it again?”

“S-sure,” he whispered. This was incredibly hot for some reason, both of them clothed, except for his naked dick just sticking out between them, straining and pulsing. If it hadn’t been for the fact his cock was out, it wouldn’t even necessarily be a sexual situation, but there it was, changing everything.

“You call that a cock?” she said, moving closer, getting a closer look at it. “That’s the worse excuse for a penis I think I’ve ever seen. Do women just laugh at you when they see it for the first time?”

He choked. His whole body went rigid and he had a strange little tremor that happened in his groin, not an orgasm, nothing came out, but he felt… shit.

“Um?” She cringed. “Bad?”

He shut his eyes. He couldn’t look at her while he admitted this. “Not bad.”

She was kissing him, her mouth hot and wet on his.

He groaned, sliding his hand into her hair.

She slapped it away. “No, no. Only touch me when I say,” she said softly.

He grunted. “Shit, Essence.”

“Bad?”

“Good,” he muttered, embarrassed, and so, so turned on.

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