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“What’s going on? What is this about my…” Her voice dropped and her face turned red, but he wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed or angry. “Neck?”
“Oh, shit, Essence,” said Ned. “I should have stayed out of this, I think.”
“What is going on?” said Essence, her voice very high-pitched.
“Larissa must have seen,” said Decker, gesturing at his own neck. “She must have told Joanie or something and then… I mean, I don’t know.”
“Well, how does she know you did it?” said Essence. “Wouldn’t she not have thought you were even into that kind of thing?”
“I think I should hang up,” said Ned. “Essence, sweetie, can you just assure me that you’re okay?”
“Don’t call me sweetie,” said Essence.
“I call you that all the time.”
“But now it’s awful,” said Essence. “I mean, it’s always awful, but I just figure you’re not going to stop being like that, because you’re old, so…” She sighed.
“See?” said Ned. “This is how it starts. Women are just up in arms these days. Don’t even like compliments.”
“Ned, really, saying things like that, maybe not the way to go,” said Decker.
“That’s the problem,” said Ned. “You just don’t know what to say anymore. It’s horrifyingly confusing. You been existing a way your whole life, and then suddenly, you’re supposed to what? Just do something else? I don’t want to upset anyone, but it’s too much to keep track of, I’m sorry. I’m doing my best here. Now, at one point, we were supposed to just treat women like one of the guys, exactly the same as everyone else. But now, now, we have to walk on eggshells and talk to women with respect again. Which is fine. It’s just the respect I used to give, the way I was brought up, some of that’s all right again, but some of it’s still sexist, and I just don’t know which is which half the time.”
Essence’s nostrils flared. Her voice was sharp. “I can take care of myself, okay? Don’t even pretend this is about protecting me. This is just prying and prurient curiosity, end of story. We’re not talking about this with you.” She hung up the phone.
It was entirely silent.
The silence just went on and on.
1:35 a.m.
“LET’S GO TO bed,” Essence said, finally. She was tired. She was a little drunk. She was going to be hungover and stupid tomorrow at that world-hunger-craft-fair-thing she was supposed to cover. She didn’t even want to think about going back into the office on Monday. What if she was still bruised? What if she had to put on a scarf to hide it?
No.
If the bruises were visible, she would not hide them.
“You still want me to stay?” he said.
“You just had more to drink,” said Essence, pointing.
He glanced down at his half-drunk hard seltzer. “Yeah, I didn’t drink much of this. I can drive, I think.”
“You want to leave?”
He let out a long, slow breath. “I mean, every time I feel like things are settled between us, it’s like our feet get knocked out from under us. And, uh, I’m wondering if it’s a sign.”
She nodded. “I don’t know if you should drive. If you don’t want to sleep with me, you could sleep on the couch.”
“I want to sleep with you. I mean, come on.”
“Yeah, but, like you’re saying… signs…”
“I’m not really in the mood to…” He got off the couch. “All I can think about is how I can never go back to work again.”
“That’s all you can think about?” She surveyed him. “It’s worse for me.”
“No way,” he said.
