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"That's right. Now, you will take ten more and then stand in the corner until I'm done. Do you understand?"
I nod. "Yes, Daddy Bain."
I suck in a breath when he squeezes my stinging cheeks briefly before continuing with the punishment. However, it all feels different this time. I feel a slight tingling sensation deep within, and when he delivers the last one, I think I feel one of his fingers slip between my thighs briefly, but it could just be my imagination. It doesn't matter, though. Just the thought of Bain touching me intimately gives me a little throb in my core.
I quickly stand upright, go to the corner he indicates, and press my head to the wall. I'm so fucking embarrassed for thinking such thoughts about my mother's husband,about Beau's father! It's not like I imagined anything wild, but just the feelings incited in me at the thought of how he might have touched me is so wrong.
I stand here with my head in the corner and arms to my side. I'm not even thinking about how I'm going to snuff the life out of Bain the way I usually do when he sends me to the corner like a child. I deserve this punishment because of the forbidden thoughts running through my head.
It's been way too long since I've had sex. I miss Beau like crazy, but I know I need to try and move on because Bain will never allow us to be together. Maybe…no, I couldn't…could I? Thoughts of Brock pop into my head, but I just don't know if I can gothere. I don't want anyone but Beau. I gave myself to him, thinking I would never be with another, but now, Bain has ensured that my dreams were shattered.
"Time." Bain's voice comes from right behind me. "What do you say, pretty girl?"
His deep voice is low as he asks me so close to my ear. My breathing picks up, "I'm sorry, Daddy Bain. Thank you for my punishment."
"You're very welcome." His fingers glide softly over my skin as he takes hold of my sleep shorts, pulling them down to cover my cheeks. With how much my ass burns, I hadn’t realized they had ridden up, exposing me to the room. "Now, be a good girl and go rub that cream on your sore bottom. I will see you this evening."
He places a gentle kiss on the crown of my head, and then he is gone. I'm left standing in his office alone, stunned by what transpired. Maybe I wasn't imagining it. Did he just cheat on my mother? I feel so dirty and yet, so fucking turned on.
I’ve never talked about that day in Bain's home office, mainly because I'm unsure what happened. Was it what I thought it was, or was it just a lonely girl's wild imagination? It's been three months since that morning, and nothing like it has ever occurred again.
I've started my Senior year of high school, still keeping my head down and staying clean. It's getting more manageable, but I won't lie; there are days when I think of Beau that I would love nothing more than to let one of those pretty white pills take away all the hurt and loneliness I'm feeling. Thinking of Beau may make me want to use again, but those same thoughts keep me from using, knowing that he's the one who helped me get clean, and I can't bring myself to undo all the good that Beau did for me.
I've hung out with Brock several times, but it's not the same. It's not just his drug use, but I always think back to the time when Beau and I were leaving the concert, and we ran into Brock. The things he said about me have yet to be forgiven, but it always gets lonely at the Manor. I've even considered calling Liv, but it's been too long. I doubt she would want to have anything to do with me.
I remember how Liv used to wave at me when I was with Beau, and that's when I thought maybe my old friend would still want me around, but something always stops me from dialing her number. That is the main reason why I am standing outside of Brock's house. All because I needed out of the house, and it's getting too cold to sit at the park like usual.
"Hey, Ry," Brock gives me his signature smile as he steps aside and lets me in.
"Are your parents at a movie?" I ask since they aren't home, and that’s where they usually are when they aren't here.
"Nah, they are visiting my aunt for a few days." Brock wiggles his brows.
"I see." I'm suddenly getting nervous. This was a bad idea coming here. I don't know what I was thinking. "So, what are you up to?"
Brock scratches the back of his head. "I, uh, was actually getting ready to go out, you know…"
My eyes widen. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I'll leave…I didn't mean to…"
"What? Ruin my booty call?" Brock grins and then shrugs. "It's nothing special, but a guy has needs, you know?"
"Is she your girlfriend?" I ask.
"Nah, just a friend with benefits. You know me, I don't have girlfriends. You are the closest I ever came to having one, and we were only friends." Brock snickers.
"Okay, well, I'll go, so you can get going." I turn to leave, but he grabs my hand.
"What's wrong, Ry?" Brock asks softly. "Don't lie to me. I can tell something is wrong."
"It's nothing." I smile. "The Manor just gets too stuffy, and I get bored…"
Suddenly, his hot breath is on my neck. "Tell me, Ry. What is it that you need?"
"I don't…"
"You're lying to yourself, Ryan. You need something…what is it? Is it X?"
I shake my head. It's true; I'm not looking to get high, but I doneed something. I just don't know if I can do it. I'm not sure what's going on with Beau. I would wait years on end for that man if I knew it's what he wanted, but I don't, because he just left me, and he hasn't even written. It's been five long months and not a word.
