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You’re sexy when you’re mad
I feel myself blushing, and I’m glad Chase sits at the back of the class and can’t see my face. Apparently the silent treatment is not getting my point across.
I quickly slide the note into my binder before someone sees it. Chase swaggers to the front of the room to throw something away, and when he turns around, he catches me watching him and gives me his most panty-dropping smile. He runs his fingers up my arm and over my shoulder as he passes me, and a thrill runs through my body and curls into my toes with a warm sparkle.
What the hell is wrong with me?
After class, Todd is waiting again. He puts an arm around me for a quick squeeze, asks me about my day like usual, and asks if I need a ride to work. He walks me to my locker where I stow my books and turn on my phone. I have a dozen texts, but I ignore Chase’s and check Daria’s instead.
AllThatDiaz: Meet me at gym, back exit. Mission Todd accomplished.
I tell Todd I’ll catch up with him later and go out to meet Daria. She’s sitting on the low stone wall outside the gym with a satisfied smile on her face.
“There you are,” she says, sliding a veil of hair back over her shoulder. I had forgotten all about what I’d asked her anyway. I don’t even want to hear what she has to tell me anymore. “I did some snooping, discretely of course, so it took me a while. But basically, Todd really, really likes you.”
She looks a lot more excited about that than I am.
“Well, thanks?” I hop up onto the wall next to her.
She peers at me expectantly. “Well? Don’t you want to hear the rest?”
“Oh, sure. Yeah. Of course I do. I didn’t realize there was more.” I force a smile and try to sound more interested than I am, but I think I can actually feel where Chase ran his fingers up my arm earlier. My skin is electric, and I’m halfway certain it will glow when I take my shirt off.
I didn’t know it was possible to have that much sensation in a single arm, but when Chase touches me every nerve becomes more alive than it’s ever been, aching for more.
“Well,” Daria says, drawing out the word. “Todd does still like Elaine, or love her, you know, like in a first love kind of way. But he likes you even more. In fact, he said he thought he could fall in love with you!” She delivers the last line with a flourish of her hand, in typical flamboyant Daria fashion.
“Oh. Wow. I—I don’t know what to say.”
I had no idea Todd liked me that much. I wonder what it means to think you could fall in love with someone. I ask Daria, since I figure she’s a pretty good judge of these things, and she seems to have a decent grasp on the way guys think. A lot better idea than I have anyway.
“It means he knows you’re the type of girl he could fall in love with, but he doesn’t know you well enough yet. Most guys won’t say they’re in love until they’ve slept with you. Girls, we’re always saying we’re in love.”
“We are?”
I can’t even imagine Daria saying she’s in love. She’s too independent to be tied down by feelings. But I did decide I was in love with Chase basically the moment I saw him, so I can’t refute her claim.
Maybe she has the right idea. I pine away in anguish, while she’s perfectly happy because she chose a loyal, doting boyfriend. Brandon and Todd are the same type—good and sweet, but not that thrilling. It makes sense to choose Todd over something I can never have.
But I don’t want to use Todd the way Daria seems to be using Brandon. I certainly don’t want him around just to worship me and buy me things, but are my reasons any more noble than hers? If I can’t have what I really want, doesn’t it make sense to choose the next best thing?
“Now that we’re exclusive and everything, he’s going to want to sleep with me?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around that thought. All my friends hook up, so it seems silly to be nervous about it, but I’ve only ever kissed two boys. Three, if you count Preston, but that was non-reciprocal, so I’m not sure. I remember the way his gaze heated, and how much scarier it was than his usual icy indifference.
If I get scared by a guy looking at me, how can I handle more?
Daria laughs and rolls her eyes. “Of course he wants to nail you. He’s a guy, and you’re hot!”
“What do I do?” I ask, trying to tamp down the edge of panic in my voice.
“You string him along for a while, until he can’t take it anymore, and then you sleep with him.” She shrugs. “I don’t think it’ll take long.”
“But…I…don’t want to sleep with Todd.”
“Why not?” she asks with a wicked grin that reminds me a little of Chase. “I mean, have you seen the size of that boy’s feet?”
I feel my face warming, and I take deep breaths and will myself not to blush. Chase must feel the opportunity to tease me beckoning like a dog whistle because he appears around the corner of the gym just then. His hair is tousled by the wind, his bag slung over his shoulder, and he looks so damn gorgeous I could just die.
“If it isn’t my two favorite ladies,” he says, strolling over to join us. He leans back against the stone wall beside me, crossing his feet casually. “What’s up?”
