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He gently grabbed my jaw, pulling my attention back to his dark eyes and moist lips.
We locked our lips together in a heated battle of passion. Each of us desperate to devoir the other.
“Grab the chocolate.” I said between gasps of air as he started walking down a hallway.
He sat me on the edge of the bed and started pulling at different clasps on my corset. “How the fuck does this shit come off?”
I stood, turned around and held up my hair to expose the laces. “Pull.”
Hungrily, he yanked the corset free and threw it onto the floor.
With a rip, he pulled open my shirt, tearing every button off of my favorite white shirt.
Fueled by need and driven by passion, his body reconnected with mine. His chest against mine. My lips against his.
“Wait.” He breathed, pulling back ever so slightly.
“What?” I panted, barely able to form the word.
Chase, in all his sweaty, shirtless glory, peeled himself off of me.
A little whimper escaped my lips.
“I can’t do this.” He pushed his hand through his hair, gently tugging at the roots. I wanted to do that. I tossed my head back onto his bed with a long exhale.
Can’t? His words sank in. What does that even mean? Can’t? Doesn’t want to? Where was he going with this? The racing of my heart didn’t slow down. If possible, it sped up.
“There’s someone else that I’ve dreamed of sharing this moment with. I’m sorry. I can’t do this with you.” He said the words I’ve been dreading. He must have moved on, just like everyone else in my life.
My whole life flashed before my eyes. The pain of losing my dad played on repeat over and over. My heart hammered against my chest. Like a fish out of water, I was drowning. I gasped for air, and nothing filled my lungs.
“Please calm down.” Chase lifted a hand to run his fingers through my hair.
“Don’t touch me.” I pushed his hands away and curled back up into a ball. The world couldn’t hurt me with my head hidden against my knees. My arms wrapped around my legs to form a shield.
“Grey. Please. Just let me explain.” The desperation in his voice shattered another piece of my heart.
Maybe if I was super still and silent, he would just go away. I didn’t move. I didn’t reply.
“From some of my earliest memories, she was there. Her smile, her passion, her heart. Everything that made her Meghan.”
Meghan. That used to be me. Before I lost the man who made me feel like me. With that name comes heartache and pain. That’s not me anymore.
“Meghan was, is, my end game. I knew it from the moment I met her. She was my universe. I’ve enjoyed every minute that you and I have spent together, but I can’t give up my search for her.” Does he care how much every sentence is hurting me? Shouldn’t he be able to sense my emotions between the bond we have?
“What if she’s gone?” For the first time, I let him in. I let go of the tears I wouldn’t let fall.
“She’s not. I know it’s weird, but I can sense it. She’s out there hoping that I’ll find her. I can’t give up.” Pain flooded his voice. There was so much heartache and desperation.
“Come on.” Just as he had done for me so many years ago, I stood up and offered him my hand. His eyes traveled from my hand to me. The zing that was there long ago came rushing back. “Can’t you feel the electricity between us?”
“Of course I can. It’s just wrong. I shouldn’t be this drawn to you when I’ve been holding on to Meghan all this time. It’s not right.” He couldn’t look me in the eye. He had to know deep down that I’d been here all along.
I led him to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and turned on the faucet.
“What are you doing?” His face twisted into a puzzled expressed when I pressed a finger to my eye, removing my dark colored contacts. “Are you crazy?”
I cupped my hands in the water and washed away the top layer of make-up. “For a guy who is so dedicated to someone, you’d think you’d be able to recognize her.” I grabbed the towel from the wall and washed away the last drop of paint. “You couldn’t even tell it was me.” My heart raced to an unhealthy beat. Panting worse than I had during our make-out session. Chase was the tidal wave that could pull me under when I least expected it.
