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I huffed a laugh.
“I think I have grass in my hair.”
He pulled a piece of green from my head and held it up, proving my point.
“Still beautiful,” he said, pecking me on the lips and rolling away.
“Where are you going?” Surely he wasn’t leaving already. He looked back, studying me for a moment.
I wondered what he saw. A girl who had just received her first orgasm from a boy she liked, covered in grass and silently begging him not to leave her? Or something more? Maybe someone he really did like back. This was crazy and completely out of character for me.
For the first time, I wanted something other than my plans and ambitions. I wanted him.
“I wanted to give you some space. I have a condom in my pocket, but I won’t pressure you. If you don’t want to go any further, then we can sit and talk, but to do that, I can’t be this close to you.” He shifted, and I found my eyes drifting to the front of his hips where his jeans were noticeably strained.
“I meant what I said. I want you.” My words were soft but strong, and I hoped Kane understood I had made my decision. He watched me closely for a minute, then nodded, as though he had found what he was looking for. Propping himself on one hip, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a foil packet before shuffling closer again.
A fine tremor shook my hand as I reached out to touch his chest. Beneath the thin fabric, his skin was smooth. I knew from seeing him swim that he had no hair on his chest, but I found I wanted to know if that was natural. Or did he have to groom for his sport? I wanted to know more about this boy. Not for an article, but just to know him.
He pulled back for a moment, and then I was touching bare skin, his t-shirt discarded somewhere behind him.
I appreciated him letting me guide us, but found myself getting impatient. With a deep breath, I let my hand run down over his chest, his sides, his lower abdomen, until my fingertips rested on the waist of his jeans. Neither of us was breathing as I popped the button and slowly lowered the zipper. His erection sprung free, and I suppressed the irrational urge to laugh. He’d been honest when he told me he didn’t wear any underwear.
“Darcy,” he groaned as I stared at his dick. My skin prickled with goosebumps as I reached out to touch the tip. It twitched under my hand, and Kane rolled his hips, chasing the contact. His patience made me hotter. I could see he was prepared to wait while I explored. But I was ready.
I knew I was partially psyching myself up, but virginity was a patriarchal concept designed to suppress women’s sexuality and promote purity culture. No need to mention it, surely.
With a confidence I didn’t feel, I reached for the foil packet in Kane’s hand, determined to take control of the situation.
I couldn’t get the thing open.
“What, have they child-proofed these things or something?” I groused as I handed it back to Kane.
“I sure hope so,” he said with a chuckle.
Oh. My. God. I couldn’t be trusted to socialize with people. I was trying to have sex for the first time in my life and mentioning children using condoms. My entire face was burning by the time Kane had rolled it on and turned toward me again.
He kissed me, laying me back in the grass as I tried to get over my embarrassment.
The moment he reached under my dress and slid my panties down, it was mission accomplished as I completely forgot my own name. His hand traveled back up toward my core and he rubbed gently, causing me to shudder under his touch.
“Are you okay?” he asked again as he positioned himself over me. I smiled and nodded, not trusting my voice. He kissed me sweetly and pushed into me slowly.
Talk on the school grounds had always claimed that it hurt to lose your virginity. That there was blood and pain and a whole lot of regret. But as Kane bottomed out inside of me, I felt whole. Full, for sure, but in a good way. He started moving slowly, his kisses and words raining over me as his pace increased.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful. I’ve wanted you for so long. So tight. Are you okay? Fuck, you’re perfect.”
My heart swelled at his rambling, like maybe he was as affected by me as I was by him. It was an empowering thought.
He reached between us and stroked my clit until I felt the familiar tingling begin again. I moaned in encouragement and lifted my hips to meet his until I was screaming through another release. He followed me over, gasping and shaking as he tried to keep his weight from crushing. As his tremors subsided, he rolled to his back beside me.
Together, we watched the stars blink into existence across the sky. My thundering heart slowed as sweat cooled on my skin, leaving it feeling slightly prickly as the silence stretched around us.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend before,” he said softly, almost as though speaking to himself.
I hesitated. Be brave. “Do you want one?” I asked.
He rolled his head toward me.
