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“Rivera, watch him.” I pointed to the kid. “That’s a fucking order!”
I whipped out the door and ran down a lane between two houses in the direction of the sound.
I waded through goats and kids as they fled from something or someone. I approached the commotion and kept low as I tried to listen. I heard a terrified cry from a house and ran toward it.
“No, Brown!” I yelled. I saw him through a window. He held his gun up on a woman and two little girls. “Brown!” I jumped out of the way of a bicycle as I ran around the house and slowly eased in the door. “Whoa, Brown. Buddy, what are you doing?”
“They, they, were calling the Taliban.” His eyes were red and wide. His gun was pointed at the mother while her gaze flew to mine in a desperate plea to save her family. She shook her head and nodded at a small container she had been holding.
“Tea,” she sobbed, “just tea.”
How did he even get here?
“No, Brown, she’s not. She’s just a mother with her children.” I tried to get him to see he was wrong. “I think you might have gotten confused.”
“No,” he screamed, and the little girls began to cry. “I’m not confused. You’re blinded by that stupid kid. You can’t see they’re all the same. They all want us to die! I saw her in the street and followed her here. All of them looked at me like I was gonna hurt them. I can tell they’re up to something.” He took a step toward them, and I held up my hand.
Holy shit.
“Jesus, Brown, we’re so close to the end. We’ve gotta get to the chopper. It’s time to go home and see Bill and Tara. Your parents miss you, and so does your brother.”
“They don’t want to see me!” he yelled at me, his face in anguish. “How are we supposed to go home and be normal? All we know is killing and blood. It’s been eight years of this shit.” He squeezed his eyes shut as he fought his own personal hell inside. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moved his gun off the family, as though he suddenly realized what he was doing. “It’s too much, Beckett. I don’t even know what normal is anymore!”
“Okay, yeah, it’s been a long-ass time, but we knew it would end at some point—”
“Maybe it should be now.” He pulled out his side arm and pointed to his head, and I froze.
“Or maybe we go home together and fight our battles over there, together. Brown, I didn’t work this hard to lose any more family. Think about what you’re doing right now!” His mouth drooped downward into a silent cry, and tears raced down his face.
“I hate what I hear up here.” He hit his head with the end of the barrel. “I hate that when a twig snaps it’s those fuckers coming for my blood. I can’t even find myself anymore.”
“Let me help you.”
“The fuck is happening here?” Hill moved next to me and took in the situation. I wasn’t sure how long he was standing there.
“Out,” I ordered.
“What? You don’t want a witness to his suicide?” he went on. I turned around and shoved him toward the door. “He’s losing his fucking marbles.”
“Stand down, soldier. That’s an order.” He stayed put while I turned to face Brown.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do any of it.” Brown’s hand trembled as he held the gun. Saliva pooled at the corners of his mouth, and for a split second I remembered how scared he’d been when his father had a heart attack, but he’d survived. Now Brown needed to do the same. He needed to fight his demons.
“He’s losing it,” Hill called. I pressed my lips together and tried to think of anything to defuse the situation. “There’re hostages in there, Captain. You need to disengage before this becomes a real problem.”
“Hill! Stand down. I got this!”
“When I close my eyes at night, I hear them coming for me,” Brown went on. “The sound of their horses and the cries they make when they see us plays over and over in my head. I can’t turn it off.” Brown was slipping away from me, and I played the only card I could think of.
“We made a pact,” I reminded him. “You, my brother, my lifelong friend. You beat up that shit-for-brains Marco in tenth grade for sayin’ shit about my sister. Remember? You made me a promise.”
“I did.” He nodded, and I saw a tiny light inside his eyes that told me there was still hope.
“Disengage,” Hill repeated as he grew restless, but Brown wasn’t holding his weapon on the family anymore. It was at himself. He knew it was wrong. A part of him was still here. I just needed a few more moments, and I knew I could rein him back in.
“Remember what we said, what we all promised. We’re gonna buy homes in the same neighborhood because we’re brothers to the end. None of us will ever be alone once we get back home.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, and I saw his finger slowly slip off the trigger, “that’s right.”
